IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

This graph shows the proportion of four different material that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.

This graph shows the proportion of four different material that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.
#proportion #four #country
The line graph illustrates
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of four recycled materials for collecting ,
such
 as paper & cardboard, glass containers, aluminium cans and plastics between 1982-2010.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 despite the all trends,
the figures position
Change to a genitive case
the position of the figure
the position of the figures
show examples
 left unchanged, where the most recycled material was Paper & cardboard,
while
 the less one indicated plastics. Looking at the details, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 paper and cardboard started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 about 65%, before
Correct article usage
a
show examples
slight fluctuation in the first year
afterwards
Correct word choice
and afterwards
show examples
 it rose to 80
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
 decreasing gradually to 70%, between
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 20 decades .
By contrast
, Glass containers
felt
Correct your spelling
fell
show examples
 significantly in the first 3 years, from 50 % to 40%, after increasing a little in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1994 to 50%,
then
 it continued its upward trend till the end of the period with 60% . Turning to the Aluminium cans and plastics, they started with 5 and 2
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
, respectively. Where the former depicted
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
considerable growth from 5% to 45 %,
whereas
 the latter
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
went up, by 2 % between 1990 to 2010, completing with almost 10% in the final year.
Submitted by halilova039 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!