IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer.

#cities #towns #world #volume #traffic #actions
One of the biggest problems living in large
cities
 is
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
 volume of
traffic
. There are many reasons why
this
 problem may appear, but there are two key things that could have been done to prevent it.
Firstly
, huge
traffic
 is always caused by the size of the city. There is always the question of how to get to your destination as fast as possible. In
cities
 where public transport is not very good, it seems obvious to buy your own car and drive wherever you want. So everyone tries to get around by car, which makes
traffic
 even worse.
On the other hand
, there is a philosophical problem caused by
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 government:
traffic
 jams happen when there are a lot of cars, so
cities
 think they need to build more
roads
. But, if people see more
roads
, they think it is easier to use
an
Change the word
their
show examples
 own car, so they buy one. That's why building new
roads
 sometimes is not a good idea.
Thus
 to
summarase
Correct your spelling
summarise
summarize
 covered points, developing better public transportation and being careful about building new
roads
 could help solve the problem of too much
traffic
. If
cities
 focus on these two things, they can make it easier for people to get around without all the frustration of
traffic
 jams.
Submitted by i.dany24s on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points, which can help in making your arguments more persuasive and concrete.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear, but consider expanding the conclusion to reflect on the implications or future impacts if the problem remains unsolved. This can add depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the main causes of traffic issues in cities and provides potential solutions, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The language is generally clear, and the progression of ideas is logical, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urbanization
  • car ownership
  • public transportation
  • carpooling
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion pricing
  • population growth
  • commute
  • sustainable transport
  • traffic management
  • ride-sharing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: