Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, the number of
criminals
has increased significantly in many regions, especially in metropolitan areas such
as London, Sydney, and Jakarta. Some argue that imprisoning criminals
is not an effective solution, while
others believe that education
and job
training should be provided as an alternative. I firmly believe that education
and job
training play a crucial role in rehabilitating offenders
. Through education
, criminals
can be exposed to new, positive ideas that promote personal growth and character development. Additionally
, job
training offers them practical skills and a sense of purpose, which can significantly reduce their inclination to re-offend.
Firstly
, education
is often referred to as the gateway to personal transformation. Through proper education
, offenders
are introduced to a more supportive environment that helps shift their mindset. Exposure to new perspectives and knowledge enables them to think more critically and positively about their future. Moreover
, being in an academic setting provides structure and discipline, which are essential for personal development. By learning and engaging in constructive activities, criminals
can work on improving their character and outlook, ultimately contributing to a reduction in criminal behaviour.
Secondly
, job
training plays an essential role in reintegrating offenders
into society. By participating in job
training programs, offenders
gain valuable skills and experience in the real-world work environment. This
not only motivates them to pursue legitimate employment but also
helps them build a stable and financially secure life. For example
, gaining experience in various professions that they might not have considered before can open up new career opportunities and reduce the likelihood of them turning back to crime.
In conclusion, I strongly support the idea that education
and job
training should be prioritized over incarceration. These alternatives offer significant benefits, including changing offenders
' perspectives, improving their character, and providing them with opportunities for a better future. By focusing on rehabilitation rather than punishment, society can help reduce crime rates more effectively.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task response
Consider providing a counterargument or addressing potential limitations to strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical progression of ideas is clear, possibly by using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing both education and job training effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, providing a clear framework for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported and logically structured, making the argument easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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