Some people say that that working at home is beneficial to the worker and the family while others believe that it is stressful to both the worker and the family. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #home #worker

Some people think that employees and their families are getting benefits from working from

home

scheme.

However

, others argue that it can cause

work related

Add a hyphen

work-related

show examples

stress

for both parties.

This

essay elaborates

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

two sides and I agree with the former since its benefits outweigh the latter. On the one hand,

working from

Add a hyphen

working-from-home

show examples

home

schemes are often designed to have flexible working hours which gives the

workers

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to choose when to finish their

job

so they can do other tasks

such

as doing house chores.

Furthermore

, there is no need to commute to

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

and

this

significantly reduces the

stress

of the

workers

For instance

, some companies in Indonesia let their employees decide whether they want to

work

at the office or at

home

for a day every week to reduce the mental

stress

of the

workers

Therefore

, working from

home

is proven to be advantageous for the

workers

to prevent them from getting overwhelmed at

work

On the other hand

this

scheme can

also

bring some potential drawbacks

such

as getting disturbed by a family member

while

working which can lead to losing focus.

Moreover

, for an outgoing and sociable individual, working from

home

might cause

stress

since interaction only happens with family and only little conversation

made

Add a missing verb

is made

show examples

with other

workers

For example

, an

acquintance

Correct your spelling

acquaintance

of mine who had a remote

job

with healthy working hours and

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

salary left his

job

Change preposition

for

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

full-time onsite

work

as he preferred a

job

that

allows

Wrong verb form

allowed

show examples

him to socialize with other people.

Therefore

, working from

home

is not suitable for

workers

who are extroverted.

However

this

also

means that a less sociable person

suits

Wrong verb form

is suited to

show examples

working at

home

since interaction between

workers

are

Change the verb form

show examples

not mandatory. In conclusion,

although

people perceive that working from

home

is stressful for both

workers

and families, I strongly believe that it offers more advantages for the

workers

since it provides flexibility and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

reduces

stress

from commuting and socializing

Submitted by ameliahanakaru01 on Tue Oct 15 2024

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Task Achievement

Make sure to clearly state your opinion and ensure it is reflected throughout your essay. Although your conclusion mentions your stance, integrating it consistently into the body paragraphs would make your argument clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try using transition words such as 'however', 'moreover', and 'therefore' more strategically to connect ideas within paragraphs and improve overall flow.

Task Achievement

The essay presents both views effectively and provides relevant examples to support each point. This strengthens the argument and shows a balanced discussion of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

There is a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your line of reasoning.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

323 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Remote work
Telecommuting
Work-life balance
Productivity
Flexibility
Isolation
Distractions
Customized work environment
Work encroachment
Communication challenges
Family bonds
Traditional workplace
Time management
Personalized workspace

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Some people say that that working at home is beneficial to the worker and the family while others believe that it is stressful to both the worker and the family. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to bring up children? What consequences could this way of parenting pose on children as they get older?

“What are the advantages of getting news online? What are the drawbacks

As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

The friends that children have are a very important part of their lives. What kinds of influence may children's friends have on them? What can parents do to ensure that their children's friends are a good influence on them?

Some student work while studying.This often results in lacking tome for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the cause of this? What solution can yoi suggest?