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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in 1996 and 2006 in a country.

The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in 1996 and 2006 in a country.
#graphs #show #percentage #films #ticket #sales #country
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The given bar charts show the total percentages of
Use synonyms
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
show examples
 released and cinema ticket
sales
Use synonyms
, broken down into four different genres in 1996 and 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that
Use synonyms
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
show examples
 involved
Use synonyms
Drama
Change preposition
in Drama
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 were released the most,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of
sales
Use synonyms
 of comedy received
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 among all types of movies.
However
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that the
romance
Use synonyms
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
 attention
along with
Linking Words
limited
Change the article
a limited
the limited
show examples
 number of releases.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a closer look at the chart in 1996
show
Fix the agreement mistake
shows
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 that at just above 25%,
Drama
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 accounted for the greatest percentages in
film
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 releases, followed by comedy, fantasy and
romance
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 at 20%,12%, and 7%, respectively.
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, despite the fact that the percentage of
film
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 releases in 2006 shared
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 trend,
romance
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 was the only genre that remained stable
while
Linking Words
 the other threes were on the rise. With regards to ticket
sales
Use synonyms
, in 1996, it
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 expected that
drama
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 to
received
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
greatest
Correct article usage
the greatest
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 but it was overtaken by
commedy
Correct your spelling
comedy
 at 20%.
While
Linking Words
Drama
Use synonyms
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 second place at approximately 16%,
romance
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 and fantasy
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for at 5% and 3%, respectively. A decade later, all three genres experienced the rise,
romance
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 was the only one that dropped to half of its previous figures.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words film, sales, drama, romance with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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