In many countries, parents are deciding to have children later in their lives. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?In many countries, parents are deciding to have children later in their lives. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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As for me, I definitely disagree that the advantages of having
children
Use synonyms
later in
lives
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life
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outweigh the disadvantages. We all know that having
children
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is
a
Correct article usage
the
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ultimate dream for a complete family with
expectation
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expectations
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.
If the
Correct word choice
The
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young couples who want to have
children
Use synonyms
later
,
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apply
show examples
can experience more free time with each other,
such
Linking Words
as an unexpected trip,
a
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or a
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surprise party. They
also
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have more
finiancial resourse
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financial resources
for
they
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their
show examples
hobbies which will cost lots of money, like LEGO, clothes,
cars
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and cars
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.
However
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, it
also
Linking Words
show
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shows
show examples
us some problems. For society, it
need
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needs
show examples
some
labors
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labor
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. If all parents want to have
children
Use synonyms
late,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
will appear a gap
on
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in
show examples
resource
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resources
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.
Although
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it's
digital
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the digital
a digital
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age, it still
need
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needs
show examples
human
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a human
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being
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beings
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to make the final
desicions
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decisions
decision
on
siginificant
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significant
issues. More and more retired people with no active working environment. The society needs young and positive power to make it better. For school, there are more and more empty
school
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schools
show examples
because of
aging
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ageing
show examples
. It is
the
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a
show examples
waste of
source
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resources
show examples
as well as
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the
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a
show examples
waste of teacher
position
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positions
show examples
. People have to pay more tax on schooling with
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
working people.
However
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, the
yooung
Correct your spelling
young
teacher cannot find their jobs and even lose
the
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their
show examples
jobs. For personal, if the young couples have
children
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
their
Correct your spelling
they are
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graduating, who will take care
for
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of
show examples
the baby? If all mothers have to stay at home to have babysitting,
then
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the bias appears. What's worse, the rate of
divorse
Correct your spelling
divorce
increases. So, when we come to talk about
this
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topic, we should think critically and comprehensively.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion. Define your stance explicitly and summarize the main points at the end.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop a more logical structure. Organize ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences.
Task Response
Use specific examples to support your arguments. Examples make your points more convincing and your reasoning clearer.
Task Response
Clarify your points and arguments more comprehensively. Ensure each idea is fully developed and explained.
Task Response
You address various perspectives, considering societal, educational, and personal aspects.
Task Achievement
Attempting to think critically and comprehensively about the issue shows engagement and depth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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