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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table illustrates
distribution
Correct article usage
the distribution
show examples
 between different age groups in New
Zeland
Correct your spelling
Zealand
show examples
 from 2011 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it could be seen that during one year statistics did not change dramatically, but there were slight changes. It could be seen that age segments from 15 to 39 years and from 40 to 64 years are much
biggeer
Correct your spelling
bigger
 than other ones.
While
Linking Words
 the
group
Use synonyms
 of people under 15 is twice
Rephrase
as smaller
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smaller
Correct word choice
small
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than
Change preposition
as
show examples
middle-aged
Correct article usage
the middle-aged
show examples
 segment and the
group
Use synonyms
 of
eldery
Correct your spelling
elderly
 people older than 65 is three times less populated than
15
Correct article usage
the 15
show examples
-39
group
Use synonyms
, the 40-64
group
Use synonyms
 is about 10-15 percent smaller. Turning to the time changes during the
one yaer
Correct your spelling
one-year
 period, it could be noticed that the highest income was in the oldest
group
Use synonyms
 equalled
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
4%.
This
Linking Words
 value
higlights
Correct your spelling
highlights
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others because
differencies
Correct your spelling
differences
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other groups are less than 1% and categories under 40 are having
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 decrease
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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. Taking
all
Correct pronoun usage
it all
show examples
 together, it can be seen that
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 population increased a bit, but
closer
Correct article usage
a closer
show examples
 look
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the table tells
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
us that
show examples
 is caused by the
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 represented
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the table.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • population growth
  • age group
  • increase
  • decline
  • elderly population
  • aging population
  • working-age population
  • stable labor force
  • modest increase
  • significant change
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