Childhood obesity has become a growing issue that nearly two-thirds of children are now classified as overweight or obese in Australia. As a result, many believe that schools should take on more responsibility for monitoring what students eat and ensuring they get enough physical exercise. The question is: to what extent should schools be responsible for addressing this problem?

There are good reasons to argue that
schools
have a significant role in promoting healthy lifestyles among children.
Schools
are where children spend the majority of their day, making them ideal environments to encourage better dietary habits and regular exercise. With meal programs and physical education classes,
schools
can influence what students eat during the day and ensure they participate in physical activities.
Moreover
,
schools
can offer education on nutrition, helping students make healthier choices.
On the other hand
, putting too much responsibility on
schools
could be problematic.
Schools
already manage academic and emotional demands, and monitoring diet and exercise may be beyond their resources.
Also
, since most of a child's time is spent outside school, the home environment has a larger impact on long-term health. In conclusion,
while
schools
can play a supporting role, the home is the most critical factor. Parents shape their children's habits and attitudes towards food and exercise, making family influence key to solving childhood obesity.
Schools
should support these efforts, but families must lead.
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task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments, especially in the paragraph discussing the role of the home environment.
coherence cohesion
Ensure main points are consistently well-developed throughout the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the issue and presenting a balanced viewpoint.
clear comprehensive ideas
Main ideas are clearly presented and relevant to the question, showing a strong understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rate
  • nutritious
  • calorie intake
  • lifestyle habits
  • monitoring
  • mandatory
  • exposure
  • body mass index (BMI)
  • dietary choices
  • preventative measures
  • school curriculum
  • collaboration
  • well-being
  • holistic approach
  • sedentary lifestyle
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