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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee ad tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee ad tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#results #survey #people’s #coffee #ad #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #information #features #comparison
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The bar chart illustrates the results of a survey about
people
Use synonyms
's
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea purchasing and drinking habits in five
cities
Use synonyms
 in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 from the chart that the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 going to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks is higher in general than other habits.
While
Linking Words
 the fewest
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to buy fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 during
this
Linking Words
 period. Looking at the information in more detail, we can see that the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who prefer to go to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks in
Melboune
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
 and Hobart are around 64% and 63% respectively, which are similar and the highest among all other figures.
Linking Words
While in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
 Adelaide, the percentage of
this
Linking Words
 habit is the lowest, standing at just under 50%, which is similar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the share of
people
Use synonyms
 buying instant
coffee
Use synonyms
, and is around twice as much as the figure for buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 throughout the period in the same city. It is
also
Linking Words
 clear from the chart that
although
Linking Words
 the fewest
people
Use synonyms
 buy fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in all
cities
Use synonyms
, different
cities
Use synonyms
 have different numbers about
this
Linking Words
 habit. In Brisbane and Adelaide, figures for
this
Linking Words
 habit are similar, accounting for around 34.5%. In Sydney,
by contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
 about 44%, which is higher than in all other
cities
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dawn140140140140 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee consumption
  • tea consumption
  • shopping habits
  • demographic factors
  • preference trends
  • price sensitivity
  • convenience
  • per capita
  • restaurateurs
  • beverage industry
  • consumer behavior
  • market analysis
  • quantitative data
  • qualitative analysis
  • trend analysis
  • urban vs. rural consumption
  • seasonal variations
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