The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend To what extend fo you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevaant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

This
essay will open
topic
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the topic
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about
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of
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working
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the working
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week and
should
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whether should
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it be longer or shorter.
Aurthor
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Author
opinions, that
goverment
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government
governments
have to make working week shorter during the winter and the
summer
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summertime
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time
. I will explain and give some relevant knowledge
from
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on
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this
topic. In most countries, there
is
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are
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no normalized limits
of
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on
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working
days
, which
lead
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leads
show examples
to chronic fatigue,
for instance
, Chinese workers
is
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are
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the most hard-working people in the world. Despite
this
, the suicide rate is only increasing
due to
the lack of free
time
and terrible conditions. The government doesn't give
days
off or shortened working
days
because they are thinking about money and how to make
country
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the country
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number one
in
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on
show examples
the leaderboards. In my opinion, in
summer
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the summer
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time
and winter
time
Add a comma
time,
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the biggest problem
are
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is
show examples
with the conditions in which workers usually work.
Likewise
,
majority
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the majority
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of
population
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the population
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living their lives in small apartments are often referred to as micro-apartments, which doesn't give any comfort
for
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to
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usual
worker
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workers
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.
However
, there are some solutions in these cases,
for instance
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
have to provide shortened working
days
for
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to
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one hour. It will help people to find some new hobbies or spend
time
with family or friends. The same solution has already been
implented
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implemented
implanted
in some countries
of
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in
show examples
Europe and The United States of America and
this
shows
Wrong verb form
has shown
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impressive success in the past dozens. In
conclussion
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conclusion
, there are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ways
on
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apply
show examples
how we can improve
lives
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the lives
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of simple workers from
fairness
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a fairness
show examples
poin
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point
of view. We must make
such
reforms
imidediately
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immediately
before it is too late and the entire population is frustrated.
Submitted by stepanantoniuk07 on

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coherence
Work on improving sentence structure and clarity. The ideas should be more clearly explained to enhance coherence.
task
Provide more detailed examples or evidence to support your points. This will improve your task achievement score.
task
Ensure all parts of the task are addressed in a more balanced way. Avoid heavily focusing on one aspect of the argument.
coherence
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that restates the main argument.
task
The essay addresses the topic and presents an opinion on the working week, proposing some solutions.
coherence
There is a logical flow to the argument presented, with some examples integrated.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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