The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend To what extend fo you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevaant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

This
essay will open the topic of the working week and whether should it be longer or shorter. Author opinions, that the government have to make the working week shorter during the winter and the summertime. I will explain and give some relevant knowledge on
this
topic. In most countries, there are no normalized limits on working
days
, which leads to chronic fatigue,
for instance
, Chinese
workers
are the most hard-working people in the world. Despite
this
, the suicide rate is only increasing
due to
the lack of free time and terrible conditions. The government doesn't give
days
off or shortened working
days
because they are thinking about money and how to make the country number one on the leaderboards. In my opinion, in the summertime and wintertime, the biggest problem is with the conditions in which
workers
usually work.
Likewise
, the majority of the population living their lives in small apartments are often referred to as micro-apartments, which doesn't give any comfort to usual
workers
.
However
, there are some solutions in these cases,
for instance
, the government have to provide shortened working
days
to one hour. It will help people to find some new hobbies or spend time with family or friends. The same solution has already been implemented in some countries in Europe and The United States of America and
this
has shown impressive success in the past dozens. In conclusion, there are ways how we can improve the lives of simple
workers
from a fairness point of view. We must make
such
reforms immediately before it is too late and the entire population is frustrated.
Submitted by stepanantoniuk07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement and maintain a consistent position throughout the essay. Make your main argument clearer and more comprehensive by explicitly explaining how seasonal workweek adjustments would solve the mentioned problems.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring that the flow between paragraphs is smooth. Use linking devices more effectively to connect ideas. For instance, transition between the discussion of different countries' workweeks and the proposed solutions more smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, highlighting the central focus of the discussion.
relevant specific examples
The essay presents a relevant example of Chinese workers' conditions to support the argument for shorter workweeks.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: