You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager.
Dear Mr Johnson
The reason why I am addressing
this
letter to you is that I wanted to get a holiday,because of several reasons. I would be over the moon if you help
me.
Wrong verb form
helped
Although
I love my job and my colleagues,I should get time off for 2 weeks. I have two reasons, at the outset,I want to go to the hospital,because of my son. He broke his leg several days ago and he feels bad for himself. Yesterday he felt pain and he could not sleep till 4 a.m. I'm scared and I must go to the bone doctor.
Moreover
,my brother is marrying after ten days and I must participate in his wedding day. Additionally
,as I have not gone to my village for five years, my parents,uncles and aunts missed me. They want to see me on this
wedding day and they wrote a letter that if I can go to our home before Sunday,they will be happy.
After finishing the holiday,I am ready to work 2 hours more in the next 2 weeks. And I give my word that I will do all projects,which I skipped. I hope you can give me time off and I will be waiting for a reply letter from you as soon as possible.
Yours sincerely,
Kim Chin InSubmitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider linking related ideas more smoothly to enhance logical flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Adding more transitional phrases can help unite your ideas into a cohesive response.
Task Achievement
The letter could be slightly more concise while still addressing all necessary points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The greeting and closing of your letter are polite and professional, setting a good tone.
Task Achievement
You provided a clear explanation of your reasons for taking time off.
Task Achievement
The tone of the letter is appropriate for a professional request, being polite and courteous.