You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is argued that trough all over the world, the
move
of rural population to agglomerations induces a drop in countryside’s
inhabitants. Correct article usage
the countryside’s
This
essay agrees with the fact that it might be a positive phenomenon.
Many people
from the rural zone, especially in industrial countries, use
to leave their native Wrong verb form
used
home
for great cities, looking for opportunities and for a more comfortable Fix the agreement mistake
homes
life
. Indeed, since the industrial revolution
, cities Correct your spelling
Industrial Revolution
got
developed dramatically, in many aspects of Verb problem
have
life
, and the need of
a huge workforce to fulfil the need Change preposition
for
of
factoriesChange preposition
for
,
induced these movements. Remove the comma
apply
It is clear that
every human being has the right to make his own life’s
choices and long for a better and affluent Change noun form
life
life
. This
change for rural people
allows them to escape from poverty and witnesses a nosedive in the rate of joblessness. For instance
, in the early 1920s ,workers in Casablanca city
, Morocco, used to come from the rural area surrounding the city
in order to labor
and make their Change the spelling
labour
life
better. A significant part of them could take the
advantage of that Correct article usage
apply
move
, thus
, improving their social situations.
If several inhabitants from the countryside emigrate to agglomerations, there are still a lot that are convinced by their lifestyle and refuse categorically to abandon their peace of land. Furthermore
, some people
do the opposite and, in a perspective of changing their mode of life
, try to settle in small towns far from the stressful atmosphere of cities and the high cost of living. For these matters, an overwhelming reduction in rural
population rate is unexpected. Casablanca Correct article usage
the rural
city
is ,once again, a perfect example to illustrate the prior idea. In fact, numerous wealthy citizens decided in the Capitalize word
City
last
decade to move
on to rural areas, surrounding the city
, to take benefit from the low prices in flats and houses as well as
the comfort brought by nature.
In conclusion, the move
of rural population to urban areas is definitely a positive trend witnessed these last
years. This
change may help people
improving
their social standings and reduce unemployment and poverty in our modern society. In spite of Wrong verb form
improve
this
trend, many others prefer to stay in the countryside or move
to small towns for diverse reasons.Submitted by namoisma on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Signposting language, such as 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'Conversely', can help guide the reader.
task achievement
Work on expanding the arguments with more detailed examples and explanations. This will strengthen the connection between your ideas and the main topic.
task achievement
Ensure that all sentences are necessary to your argument. Some ideas, while interesting, may not directly support your position and can be omitted or revised.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the essay's stance and sets up the main points to be discussed.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides specific examples, such as the reference to Casablanca, which effectively supports the arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the author's position, providing a clear ending to the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?