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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates, the proportion of the sector contributions to
Indian's
Correct your spelling
India's
show examples
 gross domestic product for over four decades.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the percentage of agriculture went down,
while
Linking Words
 Industry and
services
Use synonyms
 went up.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agriculture was one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 main contributors for over 3 decades ,
however
Linking Words
 the
last
Linking Words
 10
years
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 were the main gross domestic product in India. On the one hand , the
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of agriculture started at just over 60% in 1960 and it was the main GDP for 30
years
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 figure
then
Linking Words
 decreased slightly every year and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a bottom
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 around 15 % in
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
years
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
Industry
Change preposition
in Industry
show examples
 and
Services
Use synonyms
 in India the rate increased over 3 decades (around 25% and 28 % respectively).
Moreover
Linking Words
 , the industry stood
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 25% final
years
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
services
Use synonyms
 increased rapidly and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 63 % in 2000.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words services, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attending
  • currently
  • location
  • variety
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • venues
  • popularity
  • attendees
  • juxtaposing
  • correlating
  • proximity
  • cultural influences
  • trends
  • anomalies
  • monopoly
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • enrollment
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