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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The map below shows a school in 1985 and the school now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows a school in 1985 and the school now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The picture depicts a
school
Use synonyms
 in 1985 and its transformation now.
Overall
Linking Words
, there
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 substantial changes in the
school
Use synonyms
 from 1985 until now, and by 1985
the
Capitalize word
The
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 only accommodated 1,500 students,
whereas
Linking Words
 it can currently provide 800 more students
from
Change preposition
than in
show examples
 1985. To commence, by 1985, there was a
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 on the north side of the
school
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and an office
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left side of the
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, at the south of the office, there was a library, and a
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 and
classrooms
Use synonyms
 were located beside the library. In front of the
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 and
class room
Correct your spelling
classroom
show examples
 was a road that separated those 2 buildings from
other classroom block
Change the wording
another classroom block
other classroom blocks
show examples
 (2 storeys).
In addition
Linking Words
,
a huge playing fields
Correct the article-noun agreement
huge playing fields
a huge playing field
show examples
 stood at the south end of the
school
Use synonyms
, covering almost half of the
school
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, regarding the
school
Use synonyms
 condition recently, a
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 and office
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 still located at the same
locaiton
Correct your spelling
location
 from 1985,
while
Linking Words
 the library
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 converted into a learning resources centre and computer room, and the
classrooms
Use synonyms
 have moved into the southern part of the computer room. Beside
classrooms
Use synonyms
 is built a pool and fitness centre, which reduce the size of the playing fields.
However
Linking Words
, the road in the middle of the
school
Use synonyms
 is replaced by trees, and there are classroom
block
Fix the agreement mistake
blocks
show examples
 (3 storeys) and
classrooms
Use synonyms
 beside the trees.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, car, park, classrooms with synonyms.
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Topic Vocabulary:
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