Fewer students are studying science at school and university, favoring more computer-based subjects. Why do you think it is happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?
It is true that
a
increasing number of Change the article
an
students
are motivated to study computer
-based technical subjects rather than studying science in their academic life. While
there are varity
of factors Correct your spelling
variety
resposible
for Correct your spelling
responsible
this
,I believe that this
is a positive change.
There are
Change the verb form
is
number
of reasons why many Change the article
a number
the number
students
are interested to sudy
Correct your spelling
study
computer
-based programs. One possible reason is that nowadays computer
skills have vast importance and demand in every sector like medical
, transportation, communication and so on.Replace the word
medicine
This
is because modern
era is highly dependent on new technologies and inventions and Add an article
the modern
computer based
Add a hyphen
computer-based
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
has
been needed for new technologies. Another reason why Correct subject-verb agreement
have
students
are moving to computer based
Add a hyphen
computer-based
skill
is Fix the agreement mistake
skills
that
to ensure job security to survive in Correct word choice
apply
job
market. Add an article
the job
This
is beacuse
in Correct your spelling
because
evry
sector nowadays requires at least basic Correct your spelling
every
computer based
Add a hyphen
computer-based
knowledge
to operate as this
knowledge
is needed to gather data. Finally
, for smooth communication computer based
Add a hyphen
computer-based
skill
is needed for making an instant presentation or sending an email to the client Fix the agreement mistake
skills
this
skill
is must
needed. Correct your spelling
most
Therefore
, students
are migrating their interest towards computer
-based skills.
Moving to computer
-based skill
in academic life is a positive change for many reasons. Fix the agreement mistake
skills
Firstly
, comuter based
Correct your spelling
computer-based
skill
helps student
to think by simulating and generating new ideas. Fix the agreement mistake
students
Thus
, student's brain
can retain more information and can innovate new Fix the agreement mistake
brains
tecnologies
. Correct your spelling
technologies
Secondly
, it increase
Change the verb form
increases
critical
thinking of Correct article usage
the critical
students
. For instance
, AI is the most innovative creation of moder
science which Correct your spelling
modern
nedded
Correct your spelling
needs
most
complex Correct article usage
the most
knowledge
of computer
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
computers
students
are more eager to engage in computer based
Add a hyphen
computer-based
knowledge
for various reasons, in my opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
this
tendency is better for their secure and prosperous life.Submitted by rifataranawshin on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity and structure, consider organizing each paragraph around a single main idea. This will help ensure that each paragraph contributes clearly to your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point to be discussed. This will not only improve cohesion but also guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For example, reference specific trends in technology-related employment or the educational outcomes of students studying technology compared to science.
task achievement
Though your essay is generally clear, be careful of minor grammatical and vocabulary errors, such as "a increasing number" which should be "an increasing number". While they don't greatly detract from your message, fewer errors can make your work appear more polished.
coherence cohesion
You successfully introduced the topic and provided a conclusion. This helps the reader understand your position and the scope of your argument.
task achievement
You effectively identified multiple reasons for the trend you discussed, showing a good grasp of the topic.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarized your main points and clearly stated your opinion, contributing to a cohesive overall structure.