Fewer students are studying science at school and university, favoring more computer-based subjects. Why do you think it is happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

#students #science #school #university #subjects #trend

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It is true that

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increasing number of

students

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are motivated to study

computer

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-based technical subjects rather than studying science in their academic life.

While

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there are

varity

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variety

of factors

resposible

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responsible

for

this

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,I believe that

this

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is a positive change. There

are

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number

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a number

the number

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of reasons why many

students

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are interested to

sudy

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study

computer

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-based programs. One possible reason is that nowadays

computer

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skills have vast importance and demand in every sector like

medical

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medicine

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, transportation, communication and so on.

This

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is because

modern

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the modern

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era is highly dependent on new technologies and inventions and

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computer based

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computer-based

show examples

Use synonyms

skill

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skills

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has

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have

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been needed for new technologies. Another reason why

students

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are moving to

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computer based

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computer-based

show examples

Use synonyms

skill

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skills

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that

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apply

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to ensure job security to survive in

job

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the job

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market.

This

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beacuse

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because

evry

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every

sector nowadays requires at least basic

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computer based

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computer-based

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knowledge

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to operate as

this

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knowledge

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is needed to gather data.

Finally

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, for smooth communication

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computer based

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computer-based

show examples

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skill

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skills

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is needed for making an instant presentation or sending an email to the client

this

Linking Words

skill

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must

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most

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needed.

Therefore

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students

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are migrating their interest towards

computer

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-based skills. Moving to

computer

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-based

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skill

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skills

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in academic life is a positive change for many reasons.

Firstly

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comuter based

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computer-based

skill

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helps

student

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students

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to think by simulating and generating new ideas.

Thus

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, student's

brain

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brains

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can retain more information and can innovate new

tecnologies

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technologies

Secondly

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, it

increase

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increases

show examples

critical

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the critical

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thinking of

students

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For instance

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, AI is the most innovative creation of

moder

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modern

science which

nedded

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needs

most

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the most

show examples

complex

knowledge

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computer

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computers

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. In conclusion,

students

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are more eager to engage in

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computer based

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computer-based

show examples

knowledge

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for various reasons, in my

opinion

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opinion,

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this

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tendency is better for their secure and prosperous life.

Submitted by rifataranawshin on Wed Oct 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance clarity and structure, consider organizing each paragraph around a single main idea. This will help ensure that each paragraph contributes clearly to your overall argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point to be discussed. This will not only improve cohesion but also guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For example, reference specific trends in technology-related employment or the educational outcomes of students studying technology compared to science.

task achievement

Though your essay is generally clear, be careful of minor grammatical and vocabulary errors, such as "a increasing number" which should be "an increasing number". While they don't greatly detract from your message, fewer errors can make your work appear more polished.

coherence cohesion

You successfully introduced the topic and provided a conclusion. This helps the reader understand your position and the scope of your argument.

task achievement

You effectively identified multiple reasons for the trend you discussed, showing a good grasp of the topic.

task achievement

Your conclusion effectively summarized your main points and clearly stated your opinion, contributing to a cohesive overall structure.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Fewer students are studying science at school and university, favoring more computer-based subjects. Why do you think it is happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people say that what children watch influences their behaviours. Others believe the amount of time they spend on television influences their behaviours the most. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many teenagers believe becoming social media influencers is a good career choice. However, others argue that there are some major drawbacks related to an influencer career.

Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with?

Nowadays, many people choose to be selfemployed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being selfemployed?