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Band 6

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
#information #numbers #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period
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The line chart depicts the data of total
participants
Use synonyms
 for 5 distinct activities at a Melbourne social centre,
Australia
Change preposition
in Australia
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 between 2000 to 2020. To commence, by 2000, the film club had the highest
Use synonyms
participants
Correct quantifier usage
number of participants
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 compared to others, accounting for 65 individuals, followed by martial arts at approximately 37 people. These 2 activities continued steadily 20 years later, which reached almost identical
participants
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 as in 2000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, by 2000, the number of amateur dramatics and
table
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tennis
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participants
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 was around 30 and 18 respectively,
whereas
Linking Words
 no one participated in
musician
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music
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performances
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2010, the number of people who took part in amateur dramatics decreased slightly, falling to around 20.
In contrast
Linking Words
, within the same year,
table
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tennis
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participants
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 remained relatively stable at about 20,
while
Linking Words
 musical
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performances
Change the noun form
performance
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participants
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 rose significantly to over 10.
Additionally
Linking Words
, by 2015, almost 40 people engaged in
table
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tennis
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, surpassing the number of martial arts.
However
Linking Words
, approximately 18 individuals attended musical
performances
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, illustrating
substantial
Correct article usage
a substantial
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 surge, exceeding those who participated in amateur dramatics.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2020,
table
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tennis
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 and musician
performances
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participants
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 increased noticeably,
which reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
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 their peak at about 50 and 20 respectively. To encapsulate, those 5 different activities at a Melbourne social centre had their own patterns throughout the period.
Submitted by rasendrya.hafiz on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, table, tennis, performances with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participants
  • social centre
  • comparison
  • trends
  • consistently popular
  • gained popularity
  • lost popularity
  • community interest
  • availability of facilities
  • social factors
  • economic factors
  • external events
  • economic downturns
  • health crises
  • demographic changes
  • aging population
  • marketing
  • community outreach programs
  • participation rates
  • Melbourne
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