The bar charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
The bar charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
The graphs studied illustrate the principal causes for study between diverse categories of age and the employer support depending
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
old the student is.
Overall
Linking Words
, we notice that learning for a career is less popular the older the category gets. It is
also
Linking Words
possible to remark that research for personal interest follows the opposite path. The help by the employer evolves
similarly
Linking Words
to both
justification
Fix the agreement mistake
justifications
show examples
. First of all, as for the opening document, a clear evolution is seen. For the first group, under 26 years old, the main cause justifying the learning is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
career
, reaching
Check wording
advancement, reaching
show examples
around 80% of people. Both numbers keep on evolving until the 40-49 class, where both reasons are equal.
Finally
Linking Words
, as for the
last
Linking Words
category, over
49
Punctuation problem
49,
show examples
the main justification becomes the interest.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the other graph follows the same idea. In the first group, the help from the employer is very important,
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
over
two thirds
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
.
This
Linking Words
number decreases
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, however
show examples
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
until the 30-39 section,where the support is at its lowest, at a third. The percentage returns to growth in the
last
Linking Words
two parts, until arriving at 42% for
the
Correct article usage
those
show examples
49 or older.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • age groups
  • career advancement
  • personal development
  • employer support
  • external aid
  • correlation
  • intrinsic motivation
  • career enhancement
  • societal impacts
  • workforce development
  • lifelong learning
  • primary reasons
  • motivation for study
  • part-time studies
  • career-oriented
  • personal interest
  • educational pursuit
  • study motivation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: