Restoration of old buildings in main cities involves enormous government expenditure. It would be more beneficial to spend this money to build new houses and roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The allocation of
country
funds is a contentious issue debate, whereas
people often believe that building new houses and roads
would be more beneficial, and I firmly agree with this
view rather than the restoration of old buildings since this
program spends a lot of money. This
essay will examine why the government
is considering building new residences and infrastructure,especially roads project
.
Fix the agreement mistake
road projects
To begin
with, Every country
has a national income and expenditure budget per year that can allocate and distribute funds to country's
needs Correct article usage
the country's
accordingly
by considering some factors such
as,
politics, local economy, and global economy. One of the primary needs of humans is to have a proper dwelling, but unfortunately, not everyone can afford it, Remove the comma
apply
due to
high taxes and mortgages. In this
issue, the government
must evolve to considering to build new residences. For example
, In Indonesia, the government
has a program called 'subsidi
rumah', which means that Correct your spelling
subsidy
Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
will support 50% of Correct your spelling
government
real
number to build a standard adequate house.
Correct article usage
the real
Furthermore
, infrastructure like roads
is very important including, improved transportation, economic growth, safety, and environmental benefits. Well-maintained roads
coul
be beneficial to the Correct your spelling
could
country
, they also
reduce accident
, offer Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
a
better traffic, and give efficient movement of goods and people, reducing travel time and costs.
Remove the article
apply
To conclude
, the distribution of funds by the government
would be more beneficial if they spent it on building new residents and better roads
, because those 2 things are important to community welfare.Submitted by masry.pakpahan on
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task achievement
Work on developing your ideas further and ensure they're comprehensive and clear. Consider elaborating on points like why these new infrastructures like houses and roads are more beneficial in the long-run compared to restoring old buildings.
task achievement
Ensure that your supporting examples are more detailed and directly relevant to the points you're making, providing more concrete evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow of your ideas, making each paragraph transition smoothly into the next with clear signposting language to help guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument effectively and reinforces your main points.
task achievement
You've provided relevant examples, like the 'subsidi rumah' program in Indonesia, which helps to anchor your arguments in real-world situations.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay logically and the language used is understandable and appropriate to the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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