In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However, some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In several countries, imprisonment is the most popular
solution
to offenses
. Change the spelling
offences
However
, Some said that a more effective solution
will
be better Wrong verb form
would
education
. Personally, I partly agree with this
statement because of some major reason
which I shall explain in more detail in Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
this
essay.
On the one hand, improving education
is one of the effective solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
to
lawbreakers. Change preposition
for
Because many
Correct word choice
Many
researches
Change the wording
types of research
pieces of research
kinds of research
proven
that the lack of Add the auxiliary verb
have proven
proved
education
is one of primary
reasons resulting in engaging Add an article
the primary
criminal
activities. Change preposition
in criminal
Therefore
, If the crimers
Correct your spelling
criminals
are took
part in special educational programs Wrong verb form
take
which
can help them to enhance their Correct pronoun usage
it
awarenesses
Correct your spelling
awareness
about
how serious Change preposition
of
crimal
behaviours. Correct your spelling
criminal
Consequently
, they will change toward positive paths and reduce the risk of repeat
their criminal engagements.
Change the verb form
repeating
On the other hand
, if the governments have just concentrate
Wrong verb form
concentrated
to improve
Change preposition
on improving
education
for wrongdoers and for severe offenses
, educational support is not enough to prevent their illegal activities. Change the spelling
offences
Moreover
, improving education
for delinquents is a solution
which need
a practical long-term to Change the verb form
needs
get
Verb problem
be
effectively
. To illustrate, for Change the word
effective
muder
Correct your spelling
murder
crimers
having Correct your spelling
crimes
mental
Add an article
a mental
problem
, imprisonment is the best way to control their criminal engagements.
In Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclution
, personally, I partly agree with the statement Correct your spelling
conclusion
of
better Change preposition
that
education
will be a more effective solution
to deter crimes because I Correct your spelling
believe
belive
that educational supportCorrect your spelling
believe
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task achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement in the introduction to clearly reflect the extent of your agreement or disagreement. This will help set a precise tone for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or data that can strongly support your arguments, especially in the second body paragraph where you discuss the limitations of education alone in preventing crime.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next and reinforces your overall argument. This can be improved with transitional phrases or clearer linking of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Check for minor grammatical mistakes and use a consistent tense throughout your essay to improve clarity and professionalism in your writing.
task achievement
You effectively identified both sides of the argument, acknowledging the benefits of education and also emphasizing the necessity of imprisonment for certain crimes.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay starts with a clear introduction, and you maintain focus on the central argument throughout the essay.
task achievement
You provided a balanced assessment of the effectiveness of education versus imprisonment, showcasing your ability to handle complex topics.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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