IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #ages #populations #yemen #projections #summarise #features #comparisons
The pie charts compare the popularity of
age-
Correct your spelling
the range
show examples
range
 from Yemen and Italy in the years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000 and 2025.
Overall
, the population of Yemen and Italy saw
significan
Correct your spelling
significant
 distribution in ages,
while
 Yemen’s population tend to be
progessively
Correct your spelling
progressively
 younger, Italy
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 an
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
range
.
Initially
, the
range
 between the
range
 15-
59
Correct word choice
and 59
show examples
 in Yemen managed to be the biggest and passed more than 60 around 20%. The people below 15
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for only a minor percentage (5,7%) of the total
2050
Change preposition
in 2050
show examples
.
On the other hand
, in Italy, proportions for both
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 an opposite tendency,
while
15
Correct article usage
the 15
show examples
-59
range
 had steadily over 50 years from 61% in 2000 to only 46%, and over over 60
range
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
risen
rose
 significantly by that, from approximately 24% to peak at 43%.
In contrast
, there was
fluctated
Replace the word
a fluctuation
show examples
 in the proportion of ages distributed in
0
Correct article usage
the 0
show examples
-14
range
 from both
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
.
Submitted by k2englishcenter on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words range with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: