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Band 4.5

Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometimes starting from the age of five or six, right up until the age of 18. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exams?

#children #tests #exams #school #age #five #six #right
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These days, we can see the education system
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 difficult from the previous time, so we can see
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 most children have to take a
lot
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 of
exams
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 from nearly 5 or 6 to 18 years old.
While
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 a
lot
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 of
exams
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 have several benefits,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that cannot overshadow the drawbacks. On the one hand, the merits of
exams
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 are so varied. On the one side,
whne
Correct your spelling
when
 children have
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
exams
an exam
show examples
exams
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, they study their lessons
more
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apply
show examples
better and
understan
Correct your spelling
understand
that
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apply
show examples
in which subjects they have problems; in fact, they can solve their matters and learn better. On the other side, Tests are the factor that
help
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helps
show examples
 teachers to assess their
students
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 and find
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students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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 issues and
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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matters owing to the fact that in the papers they can see which subjects are hard for pupils.
On the other hand
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,
exams
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 have several demerits.
Firstly
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, when the young generations have
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
exams
an exam
show examples
exams
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, they will become really
nervious
Correct your spelling
nervous
. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
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, they feel
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
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 and if the teachers do not solve
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 parts
in
Change preposition
with
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 the
students
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, it become intensive;
beside
Replace the word
besides
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, in the
future
Add a comma
future,
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 they will
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a
lot
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health
Change preposition
of health
show examples
 issues.
Secondly
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, after tests most student
compar
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compare
 their score with each other;
consequently
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,
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 might
be lost
Wrong verb form
lose
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 their friends
due to
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 the fact that they can not reach the same
scor
Correct your spelling
score
 as their friends.
To sum up
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exams
Use synonyms
 are
the
Correct article usage
a
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 beneficial factor that
help
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helps
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 to find their issues;
however
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, in my opinion, the good points cannot
eslipce
Correct your spelling
eclipse
 the bad points that have a
lot
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 of
effect
Change to a plural noun
effects
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 health.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid unnecessary repetition, such as 'we can see'. Focus on providing clear and concise points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction presents a clear stance, but it could be improved by eliminating unnecessary phrases such as 'we can see'.
task achievement
Consider supporting your points with more specific examples throughout the essay to provide a stronger argument.
task achievement
Some explanations are not fully developed. Try to give more comprehensive reasons or evidence to support your claims.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You've successfully identified both the advantages and disadvantages of exams, addressing both sides of the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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