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Band 5.5

In the last decade, there has been a great increase in the number and variety of online courses available to adults. This has been welcomed as a great opportunity by many students, however, other students see this courses as less effective than classroom teaching. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

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Since the past decade, there has been a significant increase in the number and variety of online
courses
Use synonyms
 for adults. Many
students
Use synonyms
 have welcomed
this
Linking Words
 opportunity,
however
Linking Words
, some
students
Use synonyms
 believe that these
courses
Use synonyms
 are not as effective as face-to-face teaching.
This
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 essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of online teaching. One benefit of online
courses
Use synonyms
 is anyone can access and enrol in these
courses
Use synonyms
 when they wish. There is no age limit
of
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for
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enroling
Correct your spelling
enrolling
 in these
courses
Use synonyms
. Anyone at any age can enrol in these
courses
Use synonyms
 and study. Another advantage is there are no qualification and experience requirements for these online
courses
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, people can choose these
courses
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according to
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 their choices.
For example
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, in Japan, many people enrol
online
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in online
show examples
 basic computer
course
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courses
show examples
at
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on
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 their 60s and there is no prior qualification required for enrolment.
This
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 course helps elders to enhance their digital literacy.
However
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, the main drawback of these
courses
Use synonyms
 is there is no opportunity
of
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for
show examples
 face-to-face teaching. When the
students
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 face any problem, they cannot discuss it face-to-face with their teachers.
Moreover
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, the
courses
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 are not well-developed and people cannot easily understand them. The performance cannot be monitored properly.
Therefore
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, there are a lot of lackings in these
courses
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.
For instance
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, in Australia, around 40% of online
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courses
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course
show examples
students
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 have expressed their dissatisfaction regarding the
curriculam
Correct your spelling
curriculum
 of online
courses
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, online
courses
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 have benefits
such
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 as flexibility in age and qualification for enrolment. The drawbacks are there are no
opportunity
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opportunities
show examples
of
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for
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 face-to-face learning, the course curriculum has
defect
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defects
show examples
.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, but there were some repeated phrases that can be replaced with synonyms or paraphrased to improve cohesion. Try using varied language to enhance the flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
The essay misses a bit of depth in discussing the disadvantages. Consider providing more specific examples or details to strengthen your argument. This can enhance the completeness and clarity of your response.
Task Achievement
You've effectively incorporated examples to illustrate your points, such as the example from Japan regarding digital literacy. This helps in making your arguments more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, framing the essay neatly. This aids in providing a clear and understandable structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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