In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is yhis? Do you think it is a positive or negative development.

#businesses #emphasise #products #yhis #development

Advertising is crucial to

businesses

and helps them to attract

individuals

eventually transforming them into loyal customers. Several

business

Change to a plural noun

businesses

show examples

are launched

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

causing abundance and competition amongst similar products. In order to stand out against

similiar

Correct your spelling

similar

tools and services,

businesses

are required to think out of the box to craft a unique marketing strategy. Eventually,

businesses

settle to marketing them as new in some way. Some

individuals

support the notion that these

stratigies

Correct your spelling

strategies

lead to positive

development

whereas

critics argue that it has boosted negative

development

and I strongly agree with the latter opinion, mainly

due to

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

reasons. First and foremost, these strategies implicitly indicate that the

development

has been stopped and

individuals

starting a

business

are not willing to take the risk. Back in

2000s

Change the article

the 2000s

show examples

, people in

technological

Add an article

the technological

show examples

sector used to receive huge

fundings

Fix the agreement mistake

funding

show examples

from the Silicon Valley

inverstors

Correct your spelling

investors

as those

businesses

were run by dedicated,

risk taking

Add a hyphen

risk-taking

show examples

individuals

and

as a result

, they have revolutionized the modern world.

To conclude

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

must experiment with new ideas in order to serve beneficial to mankind, eventually leading to positive

development

in society.

Secondly

, the room for

development

is limited as

during

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our society has reached saturation point and advancements cannot be made without a breakthrough in technology. When

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

was made public, relative to today internet back

then

was a void and could be filled with unique products

however

, nowadays each

business

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

shifted to

online

Correct article usage

an online

show examples

environment filling up the space.

This

change in

Correct your spelling

limited

limitied

Correct your spelling

limited

the

development

and influenced

individuals

to open a

business

Correct your spelling

apre-established

Correct your spelling

an established

concept, In conclusion, I believe

this

advertising approach has

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

to negative

development

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

are lying to attract customers and giving the same services and tools.

Overtime

Correct your spelling

Over time

show examples

this

leads to a behavioural change

that is

capable of ignoring advertisements and

individuals

have lost interest in the supplied advert. Mainly,

this

features that we are not trying to improve the existing

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

rather

Correct word choice

but rather

show examples

building similar ones.

Submitted by gurvirsingh.baraich on Thu Oct 17 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task by discussing why businesses emphasize newness in their products and whether this leads to positive or negative development. However, your arguments are not fully developed. Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points.

coherence cohesion

The overall logical structure of your essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some arguments lack depth. Ensure each point is thoroughly explained and supported with examples or reasons.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences are difficult to follow, affecting the overall clarity of the message. Aim to improve sentence structure and grammar in certain places to enhance the readability of your essay.

task achievement

You have successfully identified and addressed the main task requirements: discussing reasons and evaluating developments.

coherence cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Innovation
Advancement
Improvement
Consumerism
Economic growth
Sustainability
Environmental concerns
Consumer overload
Misleading
Technological advancements
Competition
Erode trust
Fueling
Highlighting

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In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is yhis? Do you think it is a positive or negative development.

Fully explain your ideas

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as everyday basics produced by other countries have to be transported for a long distance. TO what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Should high school students be required to study many different subjects at the same time, or should they study only three or four subjects at a time? Do you agree or disagree?