In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is yhis? Do you think it is a positive or negative development.
Advertising is crucial to
businesses
and helps them to attract individuals
eventually transforming them into loyal customers. Several business
are launched Change to a plural noun
businesses
everyday
causing abundance and competition amongst similar products. In order to stand out against Replace the word
every day
similiar
tools and services, Correct your spelling
similar
businesses
are required to think out of the box to craft a unique marketing strategy. Eventually, businesses
settle to marketing them as new in some way. Some individuals
support the notion that these stratigies
lead to positive Correct your spelling
strategies
development
whereas
critics argue that it has boosted negative development
and I strongly agree with the latter opinion, mainly due to
few
reasons.
First and foremost, these strategies implicitly indicate that the Correct article usage
a few
development
has been stopped and individuals
starting a business
are not willing to take the risk. Back in 2000s
, people in Change the article
the 2000s
technological
sector used to receive huge Add an article
the technological
fundings
from the Silicon Valley Fix the agreement mistake
funding
inverstors
as those Correct your spelling
investors
businesses
were run by dedicated, risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
individuals
and as a result
, they have revolutionized the modern world. To conclude
, business
must experiment with new ideas in order to serve beneficial to mankind, eventually leading to positive Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
development
in society.
Secondly
, the room for development
is limited as during
our society has reached saturation point and advancements cannot be made without a breakthrough in technology. When Change preposition
apply
internet
was made public, relative to today internet back Add an article
the internet
then
was a void and could be filled with unique products however
, nowadays each business
have
shifted to Change the verb form
has
online
environment filling up the space. Correct article usage
an online
This
change in Correct your spelling
limited
limitied
the Correct your spelling
limited
development
and influenced individuals
to open a business
on Correct your spelling
a
apre-established
concept,
In conclusion, I believe Correct your spelling
an established
this
advertising approach has lead
to negative Wrong verb form
led
development
in the
society as Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
business
are lying to attract customers and giving the same services and tools. Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
Overtime
, Correct your spelling
Over time
this
leads to a behavioural change that is
capable of ignoring advertisements and individuals
have lost interest in the supplied advert. Mainly, this
features that we are not trying to improve the existing thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
rather
building similar ones.Correct word choice
but rather
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task by discussing why businesses emphasize newness in their products and whether this leads to positive or negative development. However, your arguments are not fully developed. Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The overall logical structure of your essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some arguments lack depth. Ensure each point is thoroughly explained and supported with examples or reasons.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are difficult to follow, affecting the overall clarity of the message. Aim to improve sentence structure and grammar in certain places to enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have successfully identified and addressed the main task requirements: discussing reasons and evaluating developments.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.