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Band 3

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
#figures #show #crime #youngsters #age #psychologists #reason #children #parents #teachers
In recent years, the number of violent
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 among
youth
 under the age of 18
Add a missing verb
has rise
show examples
rise
Replace the word
risen
show examples
 significantly.
This
 has led
psychologist
Fix the agreement mistake
psychologists
show examples
to conclude
 that lack of
guidances
Fix the agreement mistake
guidance
show examples
 from
parents
 and teachers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the main issue of the increasing levels of
youth
crime
.
However
, I strongly agree with
this
 viewpoint because
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of figures at home and
surrounding
Correct article usage
the surrounding
show examples
environment
 will affect
youth
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
To begin
 with,
parental
Correct article usage
the parental
show examples
 role at home
build
Correct subject-verb agreement
builds
show examples
 the
children
’s
act
Replace the word
actions
show examples
 and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 towards other
people
. Most
children
 usually learn from their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 actions.
For instance
, as a
child
Add a comma
child,
show examples
 I had tried to mimic my mother doing laundry and cooking at that time.
This
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
build
Change the verb form
builds
show examples
 my
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
 to take care of house chores in the future. So that,
children
 with no
guidances
Fix the agreement mistake
guidance
show examples
 from their
parents
 will behave
irresponsibility
Replace the word
irresponsibly
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Furthermore
, a place with a high
crime
 rate
also
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 a negative
environment
 to
children
.
People
 must
considers
Change the verb form
consider
show examples
 which place is safe to live with
children
.
For example
,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
children
 who grow up in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place with a lot of crimes will have a big chance to conduct
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
,
such
 as
stealling
Correct your spelling
stealing
.
In other words
,
surrounding
Correct article usage
the surrounding
show examples
environment
 leads
children
 or
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in everyday life. To summarize,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of figures at home and
Correct article usage
the surronding
show examples
surronding
Correct your spelling
surrounding
environment
 will affect
youth
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Parents
 and
people
 with
children
 must give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clear
guidances
Fix the agreement mistake
guidance
show examples
, show their figures as older
people
, and protect their
children
 from bad
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
.
This
 will lead
children
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
 spared from
youth
 crimes and other bad things that could happen to them.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, youth, parents, environment, behavior, people, children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "figures" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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