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Writing Samples
Band 3

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
#figures #show #crime #youngsters #age #psychologists #reason #children #parents #teachers
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In recent years, the number of violent
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 among
youth
Use synonyms
 under the age of 18
Add a missing verb
has rise
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rise
Replace the word
risen
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 significantly.
This
Linking Words
 has led
psychologist
Fix the agreement mistake
psychologists
show examples
to conclude
Linking Words
 that lack of
guidances
Fix the agreement mistake
guidance
show examples
 from
parents
Use synonyms
 and teachers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the main issue of the increasing levels of
youth
Use synonyms
crime
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.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint because
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of figures at home and
surrounding
Correct article usage
the surrounding
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environment
Use synonyms
 will affect
youth
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
parental
Correct article usage
the parental
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 role at home
build
Correct subject-verb agreement
builds
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 the
children
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’s
act
Replace the word
actions
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 and
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 towards other
people
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. Most
children
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 usually learn from their
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
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 actions.
For instance
Linking Words
, as a
child
Add a comma
child,
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 I had tried to mimic my mother doing laundry and cooking at that time.
This
Linking Words
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
build
Change the verb form
builds
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 my
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
 to take care of house chores in the future. So that,
children
Use synonyms
 with no
guidances
Fix the agreement mistake
guidance
show examples
 from their
parents
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 will behave
irresponsibility
Replace the word
irresponsibly
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
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 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a place with a high
crime
Use synonyms
 rate
also
Linking Words
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 a negative
environment
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 to
children
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.
People
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 must
considers
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consider
show examples
 which place is safe to live with
children
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.
For example
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,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 who grow up in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place with a lot of crimes will have a big chance to conduct
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
,
such
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 as
stealling
Correct your spelling
stealing
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
surrounding
Correct article usage
the surrounding
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environment
Use synonyms
 leads
children
Use synonyms
 or
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people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in everyday life. To summarize,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of figures at home and
Correct article usage
the surronding
show examples
surronding
Correct your spelling
surrounding
environment
Use synonyms
 will affect
youth
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Parents
Use synonyms
 and
people
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 with
children
Use synonyms
 must give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clear
guidances
Fix the agreement mistake
guidance
show examples
, show their figures as older
people
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, and protect their
children
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 from bad
Use synonyms
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 will lead
children
Use synonyms
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
 spared from
youth
Use synonyms
 crimes and other bad things that could happen to them.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, youth, parents, environment, behavior, people, children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "figures" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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