An increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#crime #youngsters #age #psychologists #reason #children #parents #teachers

In recent years, the number of violent

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

among

youth

under the age of 18

Add a missing verb

has rise

show examples

rise

Replace the word

risen

show examples

significantly.

This

has led

psychologist

Fix the agreement mistake

psychologists

show examples

to conclude

that lack of

guidances

Fix the agreement mistake

guidance

show examples

from

parents

and teachers

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

the main issue of the increasing levels of

youth

crime

However

, I strongly agree with

this

viewpoint because

lack

Correct article usage

the lack

show examples

of figures at home and

surrounding

Correct article usage

the surrounding

show examples

environment

will affect

youth

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

To begin

with,

parental

Correct article usage

the parental

show examples

role at home

build

Correct subject-verb agreement

builds

show examples

the

children

’s

act

Replace the word

actions

show examples

and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

towards other

people

. Most

children

usually learn from their

parents

Change to a genitive case

parent's

parents'

show examples

actions.

For instance

, as a

child

Add a comma

child,

show examples

I had tried to mimic my mother doing laundry and cooking at that time.

This

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

build

Change the verb form

builds

show examples

confident

Replace the word

confidence

show examples

to take care of house chores in the future. So that,

children

with no

guidances

Fix the agreement mistake

guidance

show examples

from their

parents

will behave

irresponsibility

Replace the word

irresponsibly

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Furthermore

, a place with a high

crime

rate

also

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

a negative

environment

children

People

must

considers

Change the verb form

consider

show examples

which place is safe to live with

children

For example

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

children

who grow up in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

place with a lot of crimes will have a big chance to conduct

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

such

stealling

Correct your spelling

stealing

In other words

surrounding

Correct article usage

the surrounding

show examples

environment

leads

children

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

in everyday life. To summarize,

lack

Correct article usage

the lack

show examples

of figures at home and

Correct article usage

the surronding

show examples

surronding

Correct your spelling

surrounding

environment

will affect

youth

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Parents

and

people

with

children

must give

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

clear

guidances

Fix the agreement mistake

guidance

show examples

, show their figures as older

people

, and protect their

children

from bad

environment

Fix the agreement mistake

environments

show examples

This

will lead

children

Add the particle

to be

show examples

spared from

youth

crimes and other bad things that could happen to them.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Thu Oct 17 2024

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Task Response

Improve grammatical accuracy to convey ideas more clearly.

Task Response

Develop and extend main points with better examples and explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion

Structure paragraphs with clear topic sentences and smoother transitions.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use varied and complex sentence structures to enhance the essay’s overall quality.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion with the key idea well presented at the start and restated at the end.

Task Response

The argument regarding the influence of parents and environment on children's behavior is coherent and logical.

Task Response

The example of mirroring parents’ behavior is specific and relevant.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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An increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The rise of social media has affected personal knowledge and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the drawbacks?

Some people say the government should give health care the first priorities, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayer's money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Information technology has significantly transformed our lives in recent years. In your opinion, what is the greatest benefit of information technology? Consider also the disadvantages that the development of this technology may bring about.

In recent years, many local shop owners have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?