The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#bar #percentage #adult #smokers #seven #countries #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of

male

Add an article

the male

show examples

population with smoking habit in seven different countries in two

variount

Correct your spelling

various

variant

periods.

Overall

percentage

Correct article usage

the percentage

show examples

of males who smoke decreased, which was around 43% in 2000 and

then

it declined to reach approximately 33% in 2015. In regard to countries which have a

drope

Correct your spelling

drop

Change preposition

show examples

its percentage, Bangladesh had the highest gap with over 60%

smoker

Fix the agreement mistake

smokers

show examples

in 2000 and the percentage went down to reach almost 39% in 2015.

In addition

, America,Mexico and Australia

also

had a

decreased

Replace the word

decrease

show examples

in male smoking

whith

Correct your spelling

with

12%,15% and 11% , respectively. Cuba showed no significant difference in the proportion of male smoking in the country with a

slightly

Change the adverb

slight

show examples

decline

around

Change preposition

of around

show examples

only 2%.

According to

the countries which had an increase in

smokin

Correct your spelling

smoking

numbers, Egypt was the highest which became 49% .

additionally

, Lebanon had 35% of male smokers in 2000 and following that it had rocketed to reach 44% in 2015.

Submitted by 361109698 on Thu Oct 17 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

154 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

bar chart, percentage, adult male smokers
world average, increased, decreased
tobacco consumption, lung cancer
public health, awareness campaigns
government policy, smoking bans
health risks, nicotine, tobacco industry
chart analysis, data comparison
statistical trend, significant fluctuation
stagnation, steady rise, moderate fall

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The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say History is one of the most important schoool subjects. Othert people think that, in todays world, subjects like Science and technolog are most important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You recently went to see a good play at a theatre, but you did not enjoy it because of some problems in the theatre. Write a letter to the manager of the theatre. In your letter: say which play you saw and when describe the problems you experienced in the theatre suggest what the manager should do

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?