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Band 4.5

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economics around the world.However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tourism #industries #economics #world #damage #cultures #environment
In
this
technology
Replace the word
technological
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 era, all the developed
countries
 are encouraging
tourism
.
Tourism
 contributes
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
for
Change preposition
to
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 increasing the
economics
Replace the word
economy
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 of the
worlld
Correct your spelling
world
 as
fastest
Correct article usage
the fastest
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 growing
industries
Fix the agreement mistake
industry
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.
Whereas
, the damage
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 local culture and environment is often ignored. I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 point but
Rephrase
only upto
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upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 some extent and will
this
Add a missing verb
do this
show examples
 in
following
Correct article usage
the following
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. On the one hand, the first and foremost benefit of
tourism
 is
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
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 in
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 and
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
. To elaborate
this
Change preposition
on this
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, the
Country
 which is promoting more
visitors
 to
there
Correct your spelling
their
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country
 is likely to get more
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
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 and
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
.
For example
, Canada is one of the biggest
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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, promoting
tourism
 and its percentage of exchanging goods with all
countries
 is higher than other
countries
.
Countries
 can export the food products which they
sortage
Correct your spelling
shortage
 or is not produced in
country
Add an article
the country
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.
Moreover
, the growth of
countries
also
 depends on the
visitors
. The money can be used for educational purposes to help poor people. Most
of
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apply
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children
wants
Change the verb form
want
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 to get
education
Add an article
an education
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 but
due to
 lack of
money
Add a comma
money,
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 they cannot get it.
For example
,
survey
Add an article
a survey
show examples
 conducted by
Correct article usage
a comoany
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comoany
Correct your spelling
company
 shows that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can increase the education system for poor people if
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
promoting
Wrong verb form
promote
show examples
 more tourists.
However
, some of the problems created by tourists
can bot
Correct your spelling
cannot
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 be neglected. The one from them is damaging the culture of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
. To explain
this
,
visitors
doesn't
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
 pay attention
on
Change preposition
to
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 the cleanliness and environment. They are throwing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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garbage on roads and public places which is causing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pollution. And
this
neglected
Add a missing verb
is neglected
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 by
government
Add an article
the government
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. In Conclusion, by promoting
visitors
countries
 are getting financially
rice
Correct your spelling
rich
show examples
 and are increasing
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
 of industries but the damage created by
tourits
Correct your spelling
tourists
 is neglected by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
Submitted by kaursaijbir on

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task response
Ensure more clear and concise introduction. Your initial sentences might confuse readers about your stance on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Try to maintain more structured paragraphs. Consider using linking words to enhance flow between ideas.
task response
Provide more specific examples and elaborate a little further on your main points to enhance understanding.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the benefits and drawbacks of tourism, showing an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ending with a concise conclusion that summarizes the essay’s arguments, maintaining a cohesive ending.
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