IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economics around the world.However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tourism #industries #economics #world #damage #cultures #environment
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In
this
Linking Words
technology
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technological
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 era, all the developed
countries
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 are encouraging
tourism
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.
Tourism
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 contributes
alot
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a lot
for
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to
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 increasing the
economics
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economy
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 of the
worlld
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world
 as
fastest
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the fastest
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 growing
industries
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industry
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the damage
on
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to
show examples
 local culture and environment is often ignored. I agree
to
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with
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this
Linking Words
 point but
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only upto
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upto
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up to
 some extent and will
Linking Words
this
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do this
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 in
following
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the following
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. On the one hand, the first and foremost benefit of
tourism
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 is
increase
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an increase
the increase
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 in
export
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exports
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 and
import
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imports
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. To elaborate
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this
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on this
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, the
Country
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 which is promoting more
visitors
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 to
there
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their
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country
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 is likely to get more
export
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exports
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 and
import
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imports
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.
For example
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, Canada is one of the biggest
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country
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countries
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, promoting
tourism
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 and its percentage of exchanging goods with all
countries
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 is higher than other
countries
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.
Countries
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 can export the food products which they
sortage
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shortage
 or is not produced in
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country
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the country
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.
Moreover
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, the growth of
countries
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also
Linking Words
 depends on the
visitors
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. The money can be used for educational purposes to help poor people. Most
of
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apply
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children
wants
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want
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 to get
education
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an education
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 but
due to
Linking Words
 lack of
money
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money,
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 they cannot get it.
For example
Linking Words
,
survey
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a survey
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 conducted by
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a comoany
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comoany
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company
 shows that
government
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the government
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 can increase the education system for poor people if
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
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promoting
Wrong verb form
promote
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 more tourists.
However
Linking Words
, some of the problems created by tourists
can bot
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cannot
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 be neglected. The one from them is damaging the culture of
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country
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the country
a country
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. To explain
this
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,
visitors
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doesn't
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don't
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 pay attention
on
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to
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 the cleanliness and environment. They are throwing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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garbage on roads and public places which is causing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pollution. And
this
Linking Words
neglected
Add a missing verb
is neglected
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 by
government
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the government
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. In Conclusion, by promoting
visitors
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countries
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 are getting financially
rice
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rich
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 and are increasing
growth
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the growth
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 of industries but the damage created by
tourits
Correct your spelling
tourists
 is neglected by
government
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the government
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Submitted by kaursaijbir on

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task response
Ensure more clear and concise introduction. Your initial sentences might confuse readers about your stance on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Try to maintain more structured paragraphs. Consider using linking words to enhance flow between ideas.
task response
Provide more specific examples and elaborate a little further on your main points to enhance understanding.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the benefits and drawbacks of tourism, showing an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ending with a concise conclusion that summarizes the essay’s arguments, maintaining a cohesive ending.
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