In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a positive or a negative development?

There is no denying the fact that in different spots in the world, many families
looked
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
for their own
history
. There are many good and bad
reflection
Fix the agreement mistake
reflections
show examples
of
this
action.
This
essay will explain some of the positive and negative things of
this
development. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, a lot of
people
have a small family and
this
thing is not
make
Change the verb form
to make
making
show examples
them happy. To clarify, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
prefer to have a friend
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
family better than someone strange. It is
also
possible that
people
love to read and know about their grandfathers and grandmothers who lived before them for many years.
For example
, a lot of families wrote books about their glory and their grandfathers and the date of those events extended more than 300 years. And
this
is part of the reasons which are uncountable which make
people
see the search in their family
history
as a good thing and positive.
On the other hand
, Looking
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the past is
loosing
Correct your spelling
losing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
power
as well as
money and time.
For instance
, how much do you need to travel from to in order to meet
people
who
knows
Change the verb form
know
show examples
about your family
history
,
moreover
,
this
travelling for sure will not be free you need to spend money on it. It is
also
possible to say that
deeping
Correct your spelling
deepening
about the past sometimes reflects on you badly.
hence
, you regret
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that thing and might lead you to
heat
Verb problem
harm
show examples
your family.
For example
, when you search about your extended family you
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
that many
people
heated
Verb problem
hate
show examples
them because of many
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
that they did
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the past and that will
brake
Correct your spelling
break
show examples
your heart. In conclusion, nowadays in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
around the
Add a comma
wold,
show examples
wold
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
there is a trend that
people
search for their extended and the
history
of their family.
While
I believe
this
is a negative thing and will not help at all.
Submitted by altammar12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure all main ideas are clearly connected to the prompt and well-explained. Some points about why researching family history might be popular need clearer explanation and connection to the prompt.
coherence
Improve coherence by ensuring smooth transitions between ideas. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Strengthen the essay by providing more detailed and specific examples to illustrate your points. Avoid generalizations and aim for more in-depth explanations.
coherence
The conclusion should restate your main points briefly and summarize your overall position. Ensure it ties back coherently to what has been discussed in the essay.
coherence
The introduction successfully sets the context for the essay topic and outlines the intent to discuss both positive and negative aspects.
task achievement
The essay attempts to present both positive and negative sides of researching family history, addressing the different perspectives.
task achievement
A balanced perspective is maintained throughout, acknowledging both benefits and potential drawbacks of the practice discussed.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genealogy
  • Heritage
  • Ancestry
  • Lineage
  • Descendants
  • Forebears
  • Pedigree
  • Dynasty
  • Progenitors
  • Ethnicity
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Familial ties
  • Archival records
  • Hereditary
  • Kinship
  • Self-identity
  • Patriarchy/Matriarchy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: