IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together, while others think that people and communities are becoming more isolated. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has brought
people
Use synonyms
 closer together,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
 think that
people
Use synonyms
 and
communities
Use synonyms
 are becoming more isolated.
Body paragraph 1
Discuss
both
Use synonyms
views
Use synonyms
 and give your
opinion
Use synonyms
.Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has brought
people
Use synonyms
 closer together,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
 think that
people
Use synonyms
 and
communities
Use synonyms
 are becoming more isolated.
Body paragraph 2
Discuss
both
Use synonyms
views
Use synonyms
 and give your
opinion
Use synonyms
.Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has brought
people
Use synonyms
 closer together,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
 think that
people
Use synonyms
 and
communities
Use synonyms
 are becoming more isolated.
Body paragraph 3
Discuss
both
Use synonyms
views
Use synonyms
 and give your
opinion
Use synonyms
.Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has brought
people
Use synonyms
 closer together,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
 think that
people
Use synonyms
 and
communities
Use synonyms
 are becoming more isolated.
Body paragraph 4
Discuss
both
Use synonyms
views
Use synonyms
 and give your
opinion
Use synonyms
.Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has brought
people
Use synonyms
 closer together,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
 think that
people
Use synonyms
 and
communities
Use synonyms
 are becoming more isolated.
Body paragraph 5
Discuss
both
Use synonyms
views
Use synonyms
 and give your
opinion
Use synonyms
.Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has brought
people
Use synonyms
 closer together,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
 think that
people
Use synonyms
 and
communities
Use synonyms
 are becoming more isolated.
Body paragraph 6
Discuss
both
Use synonyms
views
Use synonyms
 and give your
opinion
Use synonyms
.Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has brought
people
Use synonyms
 closer together,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
 think that
people
Use synonyms
 and
communities
Use synonyms
 are becoming more isolated.
Body paragraph 7
Discuss
both
Use synonyms
views
Use synonyms
 and give your
opinion
Use synonyms
.Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has brought
people
Use synonyms
 closer together,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
 think that
people
Use synonyms
 and
communities
Use synonyms
 are becoming more isolated.
Body paragraph 8
Discuss
both
Use synonyms
views
Use synonyms
 and give your
opinion
Use synonyms
.Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has brought
people
Use synonyms
 closer together,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
 think that
people
Use synonyms
 and
communities
Use synonyms
 are becoming more isolated.
Conclusion
Discuss
both
Use synonyms
views
Use synonyms
 and give your
opinion
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay consists of a repetition of the task statement and requires the addition of original thoughts and ideas to clearly present both views and provide a cohesive analysis.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, introduce clear paragraphing that separates the introduction, discussion of both views, personal opinion, and conclusion.
task achievement
The repeated prompts indicate an understanding of the task question, finding a meaningful starting point for expanding on the content.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: