Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discus both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe that completing
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
is the best way to secure
jobs
,
while
others believe that gaining
experience
and soft
skills
are more important to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
satisfactory
jobs
. I personally believe that
while
university
qualification
only helps to get
jobs
, achieving
experience
and soft
skills
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to get
jobs
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster. Completing
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
helps to secure a
job
in the market. Many high-profile
jobs
with
attarctive
Correct your spelling
attractive
salaries require tertiary
qualification
.
Therefore
, if
job
seekers have
university
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
, it is easier for them to secure
jobs
with competitive salaries after their graduation.
For example
, in Australia,
job
seekers who achieve tertiary
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
get more employment offers of high-profile
jobs
with attractive salaries than those who do not have.
However
, I personally believe that achieving
experience
and soft
skills
is more important because today's
job
market requires these
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Gaining soft
skills
and
experience
helps to get
jobs
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster. Today's
job
market requires
experience
and soft
skills
. Without these,
employees
cannot perform their tasks properly.
Employees
who have
experience
and soft
skills
can perform their
job
responsibilities independently and more efficiently.
For example
, in
social
Add an article
the social
show examples
work field, many organizations are asking for
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
one
Change preposition
of one
show examples
year
job
Change preposition
of job
show examples
experience
because they want the most
effiecient
Correct your spelling
efficient
and responsible
employees
.
Therefore
, I believe that gaining soft
skills
and
experience
is more important than achieving
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
. In conclusion, I believe that achieving soft
skills
and
experience
is more important than achieving
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
. Those
employees
who have soft
skills
and
experience
can perform their
job
responsibilities more
efficienty
Correct your spelling
efficiently
efficiency
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Ensure to maintain consistency in the essay by supporting all arguments with equal detail. While examples for gaining experience and soft skills were specific, they could be more detailed for a higher score.
task achievement
Consider developing the essay further by adding opposing views for each argument to show depth of discussion, such as discussing potential drawbacks of relying solely on university education or exclusive focus on soft skills.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the coherence by connecting paragraphs more fluidly. Use linking words and phrases to make transitions smoother.
coherence cohesion
Try to expand on the introduction and conclusion to summarize key points and provide a more compelling argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, making the overall structure easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay adequately discusses both viewpoints and clearly states a position, showing good task response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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