IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart demonstrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of adults participating in 7 different kinds of sports in a particular area between 1997 and 2017. The
number
Use synonyms
 collected would be shown in Thousands.
Overall
Linking Words
,
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the percentage of people playing sports in 2017 is higher than in 1997.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, Basketball, Football and Rugby are the most significant to be seen as the data are double,
for instance
Linking Words
: In 2017, the Football players had almost 50 thousand people
while
Linking Words
 20 years ago it had only 30. Moving on to Golf, Swimming and Tennis these three categories hold nearly the same percentage amount compared to both years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Whilst other activities seem to be increasing in
number
Use synonyms
, Cricket ,surprisingly, is the only activity that has a major decrease in around triple of
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
: from 25 down to approximately only 5 per cent. In conclusion, the
number
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 participating in
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 appears to rise, apart from Cricket which fell.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rate
  • increase/decrease in numbers
  • trend
  • decade
  • relatively stable
  • major sports
  • potential reasons
  • contributing factors
  • public interest
  • comparison
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