Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children

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It is true that some people agree that unpaid community service should be a mandatory part of high school programmes. I think it has some advantages and some disadvantages. In

this

essay, I will discuss about advantages and disadvantages.

On the other hand

, there are some advantages of volunteering. The first advantage is,

Correct word choice

that it

show examples

is a part of school life for

students

. It makes a student's life easy

as well as

it will grow their self-confidence. By increasing self-confidence they can maintain discipline.

Second,

by volunteering they will hard word.

In addition

, their knowledge can build up.

Therefore

, they can be inspired to join social

work

Also

, their responsibility can be increased and they will learn many things by volunteering. From

high

Correct article usage

the high

show examples

school level, they will know how to join social

work

for

this

reason they can be helped by national

work

On the other hand

, there are several disadvantages. Volunteering is good

work

for society and the nation but many

students

do not want to

work

Firstly

, many

students

are lazy. They do not want to take any responsibility or volunteer duty. In their leisure

time

Add a comma

time,

show examples

they want to stay at home because they want to rest at home, sleep, watch TV or play games at home.

Secondly

, if it is compulsory many

students

can lose their encouragement. At

this

age

Add a comma

age,

show examples

students

do not want to take on any duty because they want to

free

Add a missing verb

have free

show examples

time always which is why they do not want to participate in any social

work

As a result

, if is it mandatory for

students

it could be pressured on their minds. In conclusion, unpaid social services can inspire

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

students

. It is a good part of student's lives. I will agree with

this

essay. It is important for

students

life.

Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on Fri Oct 18 2024

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task achievement

Try to address both views on the topic more equally and provide more examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Consider organizing your essay with clearer topic sentences and supporting sentences.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, maintaining a clear progression of ideas.

task achievement

The essay outlines both advantages and disadvantages, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion succinctly wraps up your views, reinforcing your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
high school programmes
unpaid community service
charity
improving the neighbourhood
teaching sports
sense of responsibility
empathy
broader perspective
societal issues
college applications
job applications
positive impact

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on the art (e.g. Music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Kids are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Nowadays people are living increasing an increasing longer life and in many countries, there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed, than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?