IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The linegrahp below shows the differences in the consumption of three fast food among Australian teenager. Write a report describing the information shown below. Write at least 150 words.

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The given line graph
Correct your spelling
compares
compare
compars
Correct your spelling
compares
 the amount of eaten fast food by Australian teenagers over
twenty-five
Correct article usage
the twenty-five
show examples
 years time period between 1975 and 2000
Overall
, The three trends experienced different indicators.
While
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of Hamburgers and
Pizza
 rose sharply, the
consumption
 of Fish and Chips fell over
time
Add an article
a time
the time
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 period. As the graph shows,
consumption
 of the Fish and Chips started at 100 in 1975 followed by a small decrease to about 82 in 1980.
Then
, it rose slowly to
raughtly
Correct your spelling
roughly
 87 in 1985.Afterwards,
this
 figure declined to exactly 40 in 2000. Regarding
Pizza's
Change noun form
Pizza
show examples
consumption
, in 1975 Tenageers ate approximately 8
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
pizzas
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pizza
.Afterwards, the number of
eaten
Correct word choice
people who ate
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pizza
 increased
dromatically
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dramatically
 to just over 80 in
twenty
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
years
Correct your spelling
twenty-year
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 time period between 1975 and 1995.
Then
, the figure levelled off at about 83 until 2000.
By contrast
, the
consumption
 of hamburgers experienced an increase between 1975 and 1985.In 1985, approximately 84 hamburgers were eaten.
Whereas
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
this
 trend slowed down and reached 100 in 1995.Afterwards, the trend was reminded until 2000.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence
Revise key language points and rephrase sections. Use transition words effectively and avoid redundant phrases for clarity.
task response
Ensure clearer task completion. Provide the pizza trend inflection point, use consistent time periods for stronger, relevant arguments.
coherence
The essay provides a general overview of trends observed in the line graph, presenting an overall understanding of the data.
task response
Main trends of each fast food category are described with specific figures from different time periods, effectively linking them to the line graph provided.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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