IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days more and more people are going to other countries for a significant period of time either to find a job or study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country.

#people #countries #period #time #job #study #face #difficulties #country
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In
this
 day and age, becoming an international dweller is a fashionable trend which everybody around the world wants to achieve
as a result
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the number of
people
 who learn or work abroad
increasingly
Add a missing verb
is increasingly
show examples
 higher.
Although
 its popularity, it
also
 has both pros and cons. The essay below will point out some arguments about
this
 topic. On the one hand,
people
 who go to other countries are able to
take
Verb problem
get
show examples
 a lot of benefits if they live in a developed
country
. Particularly, they will be put into an advanced environment where
everthings
Correct your spelling
everything
 may reach the highest level in order that students and workers will have more chances to improve themself. Life quality in some developed countries like the USA, England,
Australia
Correct word choice
and Australia
show examples
 is much better than it is in a
lower stage
Add a hyphen
lower-stage
show examples
 nation. Another advantage is that you will be paid a higher salary if you work for
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
the foreign
show examples
 company.
For instance
, doctors in Japan are given twice as much as doctors in VietNam.
On the other hand
, there is some contrast with the bright side. The difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 tradition and culture
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it difficult for students and workers, especially young
people
 that live far from home. They may be shocked if they go to a new
country
 for a long time without preparation for local convention conflicts. A common action in your
country
 can turn into rudeness in another
country
.
In addition
, loneliness is
also
 a big challenge that
people
 who live alone ought to deal with. The best way to solve that problem is having a phone for the family more frequently whose connection will cheer them up so much. In conclusion, studying or working abroad
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 both good and bad.
Therefore
, before you decide
something
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on something
show examples
 important,
considering
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
carefully
Correct pronoun usage
it carefully
show examples
 and base
on
Correct pronoun usage
it on
show examples
 your own situation.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are logically structured and flow smoothly from one to the next. Consider connecting your ideas with transitional phrases or markers to enhance readability.
task achievement
Although you have covered main points, try to expand on each point with more supporting details or examples to enhance clarity and depth of understanding.
general
Review sentence structure and grammar usage to minimize errors that may distract from the overall content. This doesn't majorly affect your score but improving this area can strengthen your writing.
introduction
Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and intention of the essay.
task achievement
You have thoughtfully discussed both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view which fits the task requirement well.
task achievement
Specific examples, like comparing doctors’ salaries in different countries, add depth to your argument and demonstrate relevant considerations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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