The graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60 - 64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60 - 64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Two
Correct article usage
The two
show examples
diagrams below illustrate the number of employers who keep working
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
the age
between
Change preposition
of
show examples
60 and 64 years old in four countries from 1970 to 2000.
Overall
, the
percentage
of men dramatically exceeds the
percentage
of women.
According to
the first chart, the
percentage
of workers has remarkably grown for thirty years since it was recorded in 1970. Especially, in Belgium, the transformation is the most significant with 80% has been escalated.
However
, there are no countries whose quantity of female workers is as high as Japan. The proportion in other countries is quite similar. Following the next chart, the
percentage
of employers in Belgium is lowest
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
7% in 1970 and one more
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in 2000.
In addition
, the Japanese have reached the top once again with 43% in 2000 and the USA is still in the second stage in the same year despite the reduction.
In contrast
, the trend of working at retirement age decreased in Australia, down to 2%. In conclusion, men tend to work longer than women.
Moreover
, the more old people continue
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
, the more the lack of young
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • percentage
  • aged 60-64
  • employed
  • country
  • comparison
  • trends
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant changes
  • socio-economic factors
  • gender disparity
  • highest
  • lowest
  • dataset
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