The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
Several individuals believe that improving road safety by increasing the minimum legal
age
for driving a
car
or
motorbike
is the best way. Personally, I partly agree with
this
statement because of some major reasons which I shall explain in more detail in
this
essay. On the one hand, increasing the minimum legal
age
for
car
or
motorbike
drivers is considered an effective solution to enhance road safety because
this
will reduce the number of transportation flows on the
roads
.
Moreover
, younger drivers
such
as teenagers who are usually impetuous temperament and want to prove themselves can easily have traffic violations.
For example
, the Ministry of Transport in Vietnam has reported that the highest proportion of traffic accidents in Vietnam annually has resulted from younger people from 17 to 19 years old, accounting for about 70 to 73% of the total.
It is clear that
, if these adolescents are prevented from driving cars or motorbikes, the likelihood of safety on the
roads
will grow.
On the other hand
, many reasons lead to unsafe
roads
such
as drunk driving, crime, insufficient awareness of transport users, and so on. If the government only increases the minimum legal
age
for
motorbike
and
car
drivers,
roads
will still be unsafe because of the above issues.
Therefore
, the minimum legal
age
for driving a
car
or
motorbike
increases is not the best way to safeguard
roads
. In conclusion, I believe that the the minimum legal
age
for driving a
car
or
motorbike
is one of the effective solutions not the best solution to keep security on the
roads
because unsafe road causes many different reasons
such
as drunk driving not only legal
age
for driving a
car
or
motorbike
.
Submitted by writingeilts on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, car, motorbike, roads with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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