You lost a valuable item, and you have a travel insurance company to pay the cost. Write a letter to the manager of the insurance company.

Dear Sir or Madam The reason why I am writing
this
letter to you is that I lost my small bag,which had my new iPhone 16,about 1000$,my ID card and a gift
,
Remove the comma
apply
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when I
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
to London via your bus. And now I want to get payment which requires to the cost. At the outset, on 9 February I went to my friend's house,which is located in the centre of the capital from Paris. When a police officer checked my ID card,I did not lose my bag.
While
,when we stopped at the bus station I recognized that I had forgotten it. That moment I described the situation to the bus driver.
However
,he could not help me.
Although
I lost my valuable phone and money, I am really disappointed with the gift,which bought for my mother's birthday . Because I bought
incredibly
Correct article usage
an incredibly
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expensive watch as a gift from a Rolex shop for 10.000$.
Although
I know that you cannot pay
whole
Change the article
the whole
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cost,if your workers forget to
putin
Correct your spelling
put in
,could you give me half of the money? As I and my family members used your service several times,I can believe you and I hope you will help me as soon as possible. Please write a reply later as soon as possible,because
this
Monday we are celebrating my mum's birthday Yours faithfully,
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task response
Your letter includes most of the necessary information, but try to provide a clearer structure, perhaps by breaking it into distinct paragraphs for background, incident description, and request.
coherence cohesion
The text would benefit from improved logical flow between ideas and better organization of information to enhance readability.
greeting and closing
Your introduction and closing are well-structured and polite, setting a respectful tone for the letter.
suitable writing tone
You've succeeded in expressing your disappointment and the urgency of the matter, which adds persuasive weight to your claim.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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