IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

task 1 The linegrahp below shows the differences in the consumption of three fast food among Australian teenager. Write a report describing the information shown below. Write at least 150 words.

#linegrahp #differences #consumption #three #food #australian #teenager #report #information
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The line graph compares three types of fast food consumption between 1975 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, pizza,
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
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, and hamburgers experienced different trends in the time period.
While
Linking Words
 pizza and hamburgers increased gradually, the
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 fell over time. As the graph shows, the number of people who ate pizza was about 10 times in 1975 followed by a steady growth to around 85 from 1980 to 1995.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure remained the same at 85 until the end. Regarding to rate of hamburgers, in 1975 there were approximately 15 times per year.
Then
Linking Words
, it rose sharply to 85 in 1985. Afterwards, the figure rocketed rapidly to 100 in 2000.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the trend of
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 experienced a decrease
through
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the 25 years. In 1975, it has been eaten 100 times,
whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 number went down to just over 80 in 1980.
Then
Linking Words
, it climbed slowly to 95 in 1985. In the next decade, the trend of
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 plunged to 38 per year.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Ensure the introduction provides a clear and concise overview of what the graph represents to set the context for your report.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding a conclusion to sum up the main trends and differences observed in the data.
coherence cohesion
Strive for cohesion and flow in linking your observations about each fast food type to enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
You've succeeded in identifying and highlighting the main trends effectively.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with data and examples from the graph, helping to illustrate the changes in fast food consumption.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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