IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that the development of artificial intelligence will make human labour obsolete. Others think that work performed by humans will be always important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #development #intelligence #labour #work #humans
It is often argued that people will always play a vital role in many occupations,
while
 others insist that by developing artificial
intelligencek
Correct your spelling
intelligence
intelligences
,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 will be replaced by robots in the workforce. From my perspective, the former seems more plausible, but both sides of the issue will be examined in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, it can be argued that artificial intelligence will lead to
humans
 being superseded by
machinary
Correct your spelling
machinery
 or computers since automated programs are able to work much more efficiently and generate more income than
humans
. Robotic
machines
 have already taken over roles that traditionally were occupied by
humans
 in factories and other workplaces.
For example
, many companies in South Korea
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 able to
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 efficiency by replacing workers with automated
machines
. Since
machines
 can operate continually at higher speeds, the company reduced production time significantly and cut the cost of manufacturing by 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, resulting in a considerable increase in profits.
On the other hand
, it
is commonly believe
Change the verb form
is commonly believed
show examples
 that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 will always be an essential part of the
workforc
Correct your spelling
workforce
 because there are many tasks that
machines
 are not able to do
as well as
humans
. In fact, the ability of
machines
 to match or exceed human efficiency is currently limited to very few professions.
For instance
, take the surgery technology in
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
.
although
 the technology to perform surgery with
machines
 was developed long ago, the procedures that they can complete are limited, and
humans
 still carry out most surgical operations.
As a result
,
machines
 will never be able to perform at the same level as
humans
 in most jobs. In conclusion,
while
 it is apparent that there is concern that artificial intelligence will make the work of
humans
 redundant, it is undeniable that people will never be totally removed from the
workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
show examples
.
Submitted by jihyei0910 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay effectively discusses both views, make sure to elaborate a bit more on your personal perspective in the conclusion, emphasizing why you believe human labor will remain important.
coherence cohesion
Try proofreading for minor grammatical errors and typos such as 'artificial intelligencek' and 'increse'; this will help in maintaining clarity.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly presenting the topic and summarizing both views along with your opinion.
logical structure
You’ve maintained a well-organized structure in your essay by logically presenting the arguments for both sides before giving your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obsolete
  • Automation
  • Machine Learning
  • Efficiency
  • Empathy
  • Adaptability
  • Critical Thinking
  • Creativity
  • Symbiosis
  • Operational Costs
  • Human Touch
  • Innovation
  • Unpredictable Environments
  • Job Markets
  • Human-Interaction
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!