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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below show the average manthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below show the average manthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #change #prices #three #metals #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given graph presents the middle monthly change in the cost of three metals in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, Nickel has changed more than other metals
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the start of the year,
while
Linking Words
 others stayed
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
 sustainable.
However
Linking Words
,
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the year ,
diversity
Correct article usage
the diversity
show examples
 between their percentages was almost identical. In terms of precipitation, Copper and
Zinc
Use synonyms
 were approximately at the same percentage, 2% and 1%.
However
Linking Words
, in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
monthes
Correct your spelling
months
, the tendency
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed, and
Zinc
Use synonyms
was surpassing
Wrong verb form
surpassed
show examples
 Copper in
1
Correct article usage
the 1
show examples
-2 index each month before June. At the moment, both were fluctuating to the end of the annum, when their indicators stabled at the points , 1,5% for Copper and 2% for
Zinc
Use synonyms
. Notably,
Zinc
Use synonyms
 had the highest in the end.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Nickel fell from the peak , in the period from January to June,
furthermore
Linking Words
, it reduced to the decline of the price with -3%. In comparison , It had had 6% of the growth.
Interestengly
Correct your spelling
Interestingly
, it soared after the decrease but with fluctuation and
totaled
Change the spelling
totalled
show examples
 1%.
Submitted by dimash.shaitmahmet on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words zinc with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "change" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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