Some people think young people should be free to choose their job, while others believe that they should be realistic and think about their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is an argument, between those who tend to think that youngsters have to be allowed
choose
independently over their professions and those who, including me, believe that they should be more realistic about their Fix the infinitive
to choose
future
. I believe, they will accumulate more money,
since they are cautious about their choices.
On the one hand, if they chose their dream jobs freely Remove the comma
apply
on
themselves, they would work more efficiently. Change preposition
for
Thus
, they will be more satisfied with their work. For example
, actors who have chosen to work in their cherished workplace, felt more comfortable, which in turn made them more efficient. Furthemore
, they became more satisfied and Correct your spelling
Furthermore
succesfull
by following their dreams. Correct your spelling
successful
However
,
On the other hand
, their future
and their salaries will depend on their strict choices. So, they need to choose job
more accurately in order to ensure their salary and choose a profession that will be Correct article usage
a job
relitable
at least in the next ten years. Correct your spelling
reliable
relatable
For instance
, the majority of individuals in Kazakhstan decide to earn much
money Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
instead
of following their dreams. They listen to Add an article
the opinion
opinion
of their parents and after Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
few
years in university just engage in jobs. Correct article usage
a few
Additionally
, fields, such
as IT and medicine, that
are popular nowadays and will remain important in the Correct pronoun usage
apply
future
.
In conclusion, despite the fact that they could be more convinient
, the main factor of following the advice of parents will be money and income. If youngsters will choose their jobs with more realism, it can be Correct your spelling
convenient
advantage
for them in the Add an article
an advantage
future
.Submitted by Кожадаргулов on
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point is thoroughly supported by examples or explanations to strengthen overall coherence.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which outlines the writer's stance effectively.
task achievement
The writer presents both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the different perspectives involved in the discussion.
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