IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #information #journey #school #children #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons
The bar chart shows the
distrubution
Correct your spelling
distribution
 between
popularity
Add an article
the popularity
show examples
 of different transport types used by children aged 11 to 16
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their journey to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school.
Firstly
, it can be seen that short
distances
 up to 1 mile are mostly preferred to travel by
feet
Fix the agreement mistake
foot
show examples
 or bicycle.
Also
, it could be noted, that travelling
such
 distance by
car
 or
bus
 is
quet
Correct your spelling
quite
quiet
unpoplular
Correct your spelling
unpopular
.
Similar
Correct article usage
A similar
show examples
 trend saves for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distances
 from 1 to 2 miles, but moving by bike is more popular than walking. in
this
 segment
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 and
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 are
quet
Correct your spelling
quite
quiet
unpoplular
Correct your spelling
unpopular
popular
 too.
On the other hand
, dealing with longer
distances
 is more common with
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 or
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
. Actually, there are some students eager to walk or bike 2-5 miles, but nobody prefers to travel more than 5 miles at all.
Such
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long
distanses
Correct your spelling
distances
distance
 are followed by
car
 or
bus
 and a
bus
 is about two times more popular.
To sum up
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, the visual shows a lot of useful information which tells how students prefer to get
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
shool
Correct your spelling
school
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a different
distances
.
Submitted by i.dany24s on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words distances, car, bus with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: