In the furture , nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extant do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is no denying the fact that in the next few
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
will read newspapers and
books
online
instaed
Correct your spelling
instead
of paying
them
Change preposition
for them
show examples
.
While
it is a commonly held belief that nowadays no one
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
paying for
books
they can get them online and
free
Change preposition
for free
show examples
.
This
essay agrees with
this
statement.
To begin
with, a
lot
of
people
suffer
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
spending money since their income is not high.
In other words
,
people
would like to read news and
books
but they can not read
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
since it
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
them a
lot
.
In addition
, the environment
suffer
Change the verb form
suffers
show examples
enough and if we want to enhance it or at least control it we need to stop using the
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
because it is produced from trees.
For example
, a
lot
of companies did a study about the money cost of using
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
and they found it huge
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
with using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
instead
as well as
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
impact. Another point to consider, human eyes might be impacted
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
using computers or phones to read something for a long period. It is
also
possible to say that doctors found these blue screens have a huge side effect on
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
eyes.
Moreover
, libraries will be impacted once
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
use online
books
instead
of paper
books
.
For example
, most of the
libraries
Change noun form
library's
libraries'
show examples
income
are coming
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
from selling
books
and once
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
stop
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
those libraries a
lot
of them will lost. In conclusion, despite
people
having different views I believe that using technology is much better to read than spending money to buy newspapers and
books
.
Submitted by altammar12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more fully. For example, when discussing financial constraints, you could provide specific statistics or anecdotes to strengthen your point.
coherence cohesion
Watch for minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement. For instance, replace "no one are paying" with "no one is paying."
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly. Consider using more transitional phrases for a clearer progression of ideas.
task achievement
Ensure all examples are directly related to your main points. Some examples could be more tightly linked to your argument for impact.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance and maintains it throughout, offering a consistent opinion.
task achievement
You have addressed potential counterarguments, such as the impact on libraries and eye strain, showing depth in your analysis.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion all present.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: