Many jobs used to be done by hand, but nowadays an increasing number of them are done using machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

In
this
current climate, advancements in technology alter every aspect of human life ranging from our personal lifestyle to industrial areas. In the past more workforces were involved in many professions,
however
, nowadays it has undergone changes by replacing mechanical systems. Despite the fact that
this
alteration has its disadvantages, I would argue that there are more advantages. In
this
essay, I am going to elaborate on some benefits and drawbacks of the given topic. On the one hand, machine-based work would be done faster and more accurate in comparison with handiwork. If systems
programmed
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were programmed
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properly
for elaborating
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to elaborate
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every detail in minimum time, they would perform precisely.
Consequently
,
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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of
outcome
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the outcome
show examples
would considerably be increased.
For instance
, in the past accountants used to calculate huge amounts of money and gather myriad data manually. Regardless of difficulties in counting and covering all of
these information
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this information
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, lots of human mistakes probably were involved,
caused
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causing
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ineffective function.
Nonetheless
, modern computers today make these processes more quick and explicit.
Moreover
, in some cases, replacing machines with
staffs
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staff
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could bring about financial benefits.
This
happens when devices could perform equivalent to several
workforce
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workforces
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which
decrease
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decreases
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needs
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the needs
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of many staffs.
Subsequently
, businesses could save money considered for payments to their staff.
This
results in better financial circumstances for them. Irrespective of advantages, vocations operated by machines require constant observation in order to ensure about
properly
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proper
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working of
system
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systems
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and services. If tools were not checked by professionals in a certain period of time, it might bring about major destruction.
Furthermore
, many workers have been made redundant because employers tend to work with devices
instead
of recruiting individuals. In conclusion, it seems logical to accept that flawless execution of devices
along with
merits brought for financial matters overshadow concerns about keeping
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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and
less
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fewer
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employers
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employees
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in companies.
Submitted by rezaei.rezvan94 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure thorough evaluation of both advantages and disadvantages, possibly with more depth in analysis of drawbacks. Expand on how technology impacts employment beyond just financial benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve transitions between points for better coherence. Consider breaking larger paragraphs into smaller, focused analyses.
Introduction
The introduction is clear, outlining intentions to discuss both advantages and disadvantages.
Task Achievement
Examples, such as the comparison of accountants in the past and present, effectively illustrate points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Productivity
  • Economic growth
  • Mass production
  • Standardization
  • Job displacement
  • Skill obsolescence
  • Overreliance
  • Income inequality
  • Social mobility
  • Technological advancements
  • Manual labor
  • Continuous learning
  • Skill development
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