Many jobs used to be done by hand, but nowadays an increasing number of them are done using machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.
In
this
current climate, advancements in technology alter every aspect of human life ranging from our personal lifestyle to industrial areas. In the past more workforces were involved in many professions, however
, nowadays it has undergone changes by replacing mechanical systems. Despite the fact that this
alteration has its disadvantages, I would argue that there are more advantages. In this
essay, I am going to elaborate on some benefits and drawbacks of the given topic.
On the one hand, machine-based work would be done faster and more accurate in comparison with handiwork. If systems programmed
properly Add a missing verb
were programmed
for elaborating
every detail in minimum time, they would perform precisely. Change preposition
to elaborate
Consequently
, quality
of Correct article usage
the quality
outcome
would considerably be increased. Correct article usage
the outcome
For instance
, in the past accountants used to calculate huge amounts of money and gather myriad data manually. Regardless of difficulties in counting and covering all of these information
, lots of human mistakes probably were involved, Change the determiner
this information
caused
ineffective function. Wrong verb form
causing
Nonetheless
, modern computers today make these processes more quick and explicit. Moreover
, in some cases, replacing machines with staffs
could bring about financial benefits. Fix the agreement mistake
staff
This
happens when devices could perform equivalent to several workforce
which Change to a plural noun
workforces
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
needs
of many staffs. Correct article usage
the needs
Subsequently
, businesses could save money considered for payments to their staff. This
results in better financial circumstances for them.
Irrespective of advantages, vocations operated by machines require constant observation in order to ensure about properly
working of Change the word
proper
system
and services. If tools were not checked by professionals in a certain period of time, it might bring about major destruction. Fix the agreement mistake
systems
Furthermore
, many workers have been made redundant because employers tend to work with devices instead
of recruiting individuals.
In conclusion, it seems logical to accept that flawless execution of devices along with
merits brought for financial matters overshadow concerns about keeping equipments
and Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
employers
in companies.Correct your spelling
employees
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Task Achievement
Ensure thorough evaluation of both advantages and disadvantages, possibly with more depth in analysis of drawbacks. Expand on how technology impacts employment beyond just financial benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve transitions between points for better coherence. Consider breaking larger paragraphs into smaller, focused analyses.
Introduction
The introduction is clear, outlining intentions to discuss both advantages and disadvantages.
Task Achievement
Examples, such as the comparison of accountants in the past and present, effectively illustrate points made.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.