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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows how a biofuel called ethanol is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The diagram below shows how a biofuel called ethanol is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
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The diagram illustrates how
ethanol
Use synonyms
, which is a biofuel product, is made.
Overall
Linking Words
, after
plants
Use synonyms
 receive enough sunlight and
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 from vehicles, they grow and are collected by special machines.
Then
Linking Words
, after producing cellulose
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
pre-processing
Correct article usage
the pre-processing
show examples
 stage, it undergoes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
processing with chemicals at
factory
Add an article
the factory
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 to produce sugars. These sugars are mixed with microbes to produce
ethanol
Use synonyms
, which
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 as fuel
to
Change preposition
for
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 transportation means. Cars, planes, and different vehicles that use biofuel to operate produce a high amount of
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 is considered an essential nutrient or source of energy to
plants
Use synonyms
, which they use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with sunlight to grow. The grown
plants
Use synonyms
 are harvested by special vehicles or methods to go to
pre-processing
Add an article
the pre-processing
show examples
 stage, where the
plants
Use synonyms
 are converted to cellulose, which is the project
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 will undergo to real process. After the processing, sugars are produced. At
this
Linking Words
 stage, microbes are added to complete the production of biofuel,
ethanol
Use synonyms
. After the
ethanol
Use synonyms
 is produced, it is used by many different transportation methods. To supply them with energy that
important
Add a missing verb
is important
show examples
 to operate them,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they
also
Linking Words
 produce
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
 again.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ethanol, plants, carbon, dioxide with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biomass
  • milling
  • fermentation
  • enzymes
  • distillation
  • dehydration
  • molecular sieves
  • denatured
  • ethanol
  • raw materials
  • sugarcane
  • corn
  • impurities
  • purified
  • distribution
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