IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You bought an electronic device and it is not working properly. Write a letter to the to the manager. - Describe the product you bought - Tell what you do to resolve the problem - Tell manager what you want

#device #manager #product
Dear Sir or Madam I hope
this
 letter finds you well. The reason why I am writing
this
 letter to you is that my new
phone
,which I bought from your
shop
 is not working very well. I want to change
this
phone
 and get 100$ as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
compensation. One week ago,on 19 October I visited to
shop
 named "Everything About Electronics" on Main Street in London.The worker demonstrated the
phone
 and turned it on there.
Moreover
,he said that I should charge when the
phone
 loses all the battery in first time.When I bought
this
 device and came home it was working. I put it to charge when it turned off. I used it for about 4 days and on the
fifth-day
Correct your spelling
fifth day
show examples
,
mobile
Correct pronoun usage
my mobile
show examples
 just turned off and did not work after that. I did not do anything,which could damage it. After that, I went to the
shop
 and paid more than 20$ to understand my
phone
's problem.
Although
 workers in the service said that they fixed it and I
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 use it without any problems,yesterday my mobile broke again. As in the document
writtin
Correct your spelling
writing
, I can return my
phone
 and can change it to new.
Additionally
, you wrote in the 2.1 prompts that if the consumer has some type of uncomfortabilities
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 workers or service, the
shop
 will pay 100$ as compensation. I want to change my
phone
 to another and return my money,which I spent
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 service.
Furthermore
,I hope you will give 100$ too. Please,write your reply letter as soon as possible. Yours faithfully, Jack Smith
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence of the letter, ensure that sentences and ideas flow logically and clearly. For instance, separating the problem description from the resolution attempts into distinct paragraphs can aid clarity.
task achievement
Ensure all actions taken and desired outcomes are described distinctly for improved task achievement. Reiterate the actions you've taken clearly and state precisely what you expect from the manager.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing of the letter are formatted well, providing a polite and suitable writing tone throughout the letter.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph generally addresses a single idea, making for a clearer understanding of the situation described.
task achievement
The letter clearly describes the product issue and the actions taken to resolve it, demonstrating solid task achievement.
suitable writing tone
The writing tone remains formal and respectful, maintaining a suitable tone for a letter of complaint.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: