Government should spend on public services such as healthcare and education rather than art like painting, and drawing. To what extent do you agree or agree?
Some
people
consider that The Use synonyms
government
should spend on public needs,like hospitality or education. Use synonyms
However
, others argue that the Linking Words
government
must focus on culture,Use synonyms
such
as painting and drawing. In my point of view,I totally agree Linking Words
to
the idea Change preposition
with
about
the Change preposition
that
government
Use synonyms
have
to spend the budget Correct subject-verb agreement
has
to
healthcare and education, because both of them Change preposition
on
incredibly
important.
At the outset, the first class should Add a missing verb
are incredibly
give
Verb problem
apply
a
focus Correct article usage
apply
to
medicine. The reason is that if citizens have Change preposition
on
not
Correct your spelling
no
problem
with their health,the Fix the agreement mistake
problems
government
won't scare any Use synonyms
deseases
, health problems or pandemies. Correct your spelling
diseases
Moreover
, the Linking Words
government
will have healthy,young,motivated and Use synonyms
energizer
Replace the word
energised
people
,who will buildUse synonyms
Correct article usage
a
future
. Use synonyms
For instance
, Japan spent dozens of Linking Words
million
$ Fix the agreement mistake
millions
to
healthcare after Change preposition
on
Correct article usage
the second
second
World War. And at the moment, Capitalize word
Second
people
in Use synonyms
Hirosima
or Nagasaki,where Correct your spelling
Hiroshima
nucler
bombs Correct your spelling
nuclear
bumbed
are free,healthy and ready to increase Correct your spelling
bumped
country's
economy. Correct article usage
the country's
To sum up
, if the Linking Words
government
spend money to increase Use synonyms
quality
of medicine at the moment,itAdd an article
the quality
invistigate
to Correct your spelling
investigate
future
.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
,another important sphere is teaching,because if Linking Words
country
focuses Correct article usage
the country
to
Change preposition
on
young
generation's learning system now,these students will fly to Mars in Correct article usage
the young
near
Correct article usage
the near
future
.In any part of Use synonyms
the
history,kings or presidents Correct article usage
apply
gave
huge Correct your spelling
have
amount
of money to Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
teaching
young Wrong verb form
teach
people
.Use synonyms
As a result
, students,who studied in the past, are working as Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
businessman
,Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
minister
or Fix the agreement mistake
ministers
president
too.Children learn all Fix the agreement mistake
presidents
important
information,which will Correct article usage
the important
need
in their Wrong verb form
be needed
future
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
by
teachers at schools.Change preposition
from
Moreover
, they can use these data,when they have tricky problems,misunderstandings or dilemmas.
In conclusion, If Linking Words
people
want Use synonyms
independance
,Correct your spelling
independence
better
life,and better Correct article usage
a better
sequirty
,the Correct your spelling
security
government
should pay more money Use synonyms
to
medicine and Change preposition
for
learing
.Because of Correct your spelling
learning
reasons
,Correct article usage
the reasons
which
mentioned before, the Correct pronoun usage
apply
government
must Use synonyms
have to
spend much more amount of cash Verb problem
apply
to
these spheres.Change preposition
on
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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grammar
Consider reviewing punctuation and spacing between words and commas to improve readability.
content development
Try to develop your points more comprehensively with additional examples and explanations.
cohesion and coherence
Ensure each paragraph flows logically into the next to enhance coherence.
structure
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
clarity of argumentation
The argument in support of increased spending on healthcare and education is clearly presented.
use of examples
The essay uses a historical example (Japan after WWII) to support the argument, which is relevant.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example