In many cities, there are areas of land that are used as parks. With increasing population levels, these areas would be better used to provide more housing. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Parks
dominate significant
areas
in several nations,
however
, these
areas
can be used in a useful way,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
providing more accommodations. From my perspective, I partly agree with that, I believe in urban, there should be extra
parks
in cities, which could assist
people
in finding
parks
for their vehicles easily,
moreover
, these parking lands have beneficial impacts in saving
time
for
people
particularly those who are businessmen.
In contrast
, many
people
prefer to live in cities to rural
areas
, as they are required to use these lands
in establishing
Change preposition
to establish
show examples
more houses
This
essay will illustrate some reasons. On one hand,
time
for several
people
is the most essential part of their lives.
In other words
, numerous
people
are struggling to find parking so they have to park their cars far away from their place and
wasting
Wrong verb form
waste
show examples
their
time
finding places to their cars, particularly businessmen, who have important meetings they have to be there in
time
.
On the other hand
, establishing houses in these
areas
instead
of
parks
could help
people
who prefer to live there. It is
also
possible to say that, several citizens have
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
to buy their house in busy
areas
,
while
these lands their beneficial for their kids to waste their
time
instead
of wasting it on mobiles
as well as
with useless activities.
For example
, a lot of parents are struggling since they do not have any places or greenfields for spending
time
with their family and children, especially during school holidays. In conclusion,
parks
are described as a rose has its thorns, which can be useful for children to spend their free
time
with happiness
as well as
away from their mobile phones which has a bad effect in disturbing kids from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real life,
whereas
it could be exploited in building more houses for
people
who prefer to live in urban.
Submitted by talahakoura27 on

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task response
Clarify the position taken in the introduction. Specify clearly whether you agree or disagree, or if your perspective falls somewhere in between.
task response
Include more specific examples to support your points, focusing on real life or data-driven scenarios if possible.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence variety and paragraph transitions to make your argument more compelling and easy to follow.
task response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
A variety of vocabulary is used, demonstrating a good range.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban landscape
  • green space
  • recreational opportunities
  • mental well-being
  • ecosystems
  • urban heat island effect
  • biodiversity
  • water management
  • housing shortages
  • residential development
  • accommodate
  • urban areas
  • population density
  • sustainable development
  • quality of life
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