In many cities, there are areas of land that are used as parks. With increasing population levels, these areas would be better used to provide more housing. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Parks
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dominate significant
areas
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in several nations,
however
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, these
areas
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can be used in a useful way,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
providing more accommodations. From my perspective, I partly agree with that, I believe in urban, there should be extra
parks
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in cities, which could assist
people
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in finding
parks
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for their vehicles easily,
moreover
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, these parking lands have beneficial impacts in saving
time
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for
people
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particularly those who are businessmen.
In contrast
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, many
people
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prefer to live in cities to rural
areas
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, as they are required to use these lands
in establishing
Change preposition
to establish
show examples
more houses
This
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essay will illustrate some reasons. On one hand,
time
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for several
people
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is the most essential part of their lives.
In other words
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, numerous
people
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are struggling to find parking so they have to park their cars far away from their place and
wasting
Wrong verb form
waste
show examples
their
time
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finding places to their cars, particularly businessmen, who have important meetings they have to be there in
time
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.
On the other hand
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, establishing houses in these
areas
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instead
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of
parks
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could help
people
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who prefer to live there. It is
also
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possible to say that, several citizens have
favorable
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favourable
show examples
to buy their house in busy
areas
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,
while
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these lands their beneficial for their kids to waste their
time
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instead
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of wasting it on mobiles
as well as
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with useless activities.
For example
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, a lot of parents are struggling since they do not have any places or greenfields for spending
time
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with their family and children, especially during school holidays. In conclusion,
parks
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are described as a rose has its thorns, which can be useful for children to spend their free
time
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with happiness
as well as
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away from their mobile phones which has a bad effect in disturbing kids from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real life,
whereas
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it could be exploited in building more houses for
people
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who prefer to live in urban.
Submitted by talahakoura27 on

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task response
Clarify the position taken in the introduction. Specify clearly whether you agree or disagree, or if your perspective falls somewhere in between.
task response
Include more specific examples to support your points, focusing on real life or data-driven scenarios if possible.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence variety and paragraph transitions to make your argument more compelling and easy to follow.
task response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
A variety of vocabulary is used, demonstrating a good range.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban landscape
  • green space
  • recreational opportunities
  • mental well-being
  • ecosystems
  • urban heat island effect
  • biodiversity
  • water management
  • housing shortages
  • residential development
  • accommodate
  • urban areas
  • population density
  • sustainable development
  • quality of life
What to do next:
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