The older generations tend to have very traditional idea about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
eldery
Correct your spelling
elderly
people
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
try to improve themselves
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
act So, some
people
Use synonyms
think that they can not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be like
them
Change the pronoun
they
show examples
act
becaue
Correct your spelling
because
they
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
the
Add a missing verb
have the
show examples
same mind and thinking.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
others believe that good idea to take it in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal opinion.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, the elderly
people
Use synonyms
who
is think
Change the verb form
think
show examples
they can
cotrol
Correct your spelling
control
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the new generation maybe will
be not succeed
Change the verb form
not succeed
show examples
for many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
thier
Correct your spelling
they
think it is not the same
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
and they are breeding it is varies maybe will be not can do it.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
Correct your spelling
elderly
eldrly
Correct your spelling
elderly
people
Use synonyms
can make
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
about
them self
Correct your spelling
themself
show examples
Submitted by shougaldhafere on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to develop each point with more detailed and clear ideas. Introduce both sides of the argument clearly before presenting your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences with detailed explanations, and, if possible, examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on your sentence structure and grammar to make the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
You have attempted to present both sides of the argument, which is good practice in an essay like this.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: